first date

First Date Disaster Part II {Personal}

{continued from part I)
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This time of night, the Metro station was much more still and slow.  I slid my card through the gate, and just like every other time, it worked perfectly.  Brennan used the gate next to me, but his didn't work.  In a fattened fury of guy rage, he took my card from me and went to the booth to put more money on both cards.  "Okay, I put $20 on each card.  They really should BOTH work just fine."  After he added the money, his card worked and he was obviously pretty proud of himself.  I just followed him onto the train, adding the $40 to Night's Tab.  Eek.

On the Metro we stood and stared at the ground.  We didn't sit because we were too full and we didn't talk because there really was nothing to talk about.  Then, in a moment of absurdity, two guys started hitting on me.  Not in a flattering way, or not even in a sick-o way… in a very challenging-to-Brennan way.  "Well hi there.  You are very pretty.  And you have a beautiful smile…" "Oh. Thanks." "…does he tell you that you have a beautiful smile" "Uuuuuh…"  It was just a bizarre awkward 30 seconds as the Smile Guy stood right in front of me looked me up and down. Brennan didn't say a word.  He just stood up straighter.  

Thankfully the men got off at the next stop.  When they had exited and the doors had closed, Brennan blew up.  "Oooooh, I did NOT like that at all.  I did not like that.  I'm sorry, I didn't know what to do.  I didn't want to overstep my bounds and say something that would make you feel uncomfortable… I mean, we just went on one date… But I really, really didn't like that.  I wanted to pop him in the shins.  I should have said something.  I'm sorry."  No worries, Brennan.  No worries.

Our train arrived at our station and we quietly walked off.  I slid my card through the gates.  And walked through.  Brennan did the same, and his didn't work.  He was not a happy Metro traveler.  "This is ree-DIC-u-lus. I just can't win. Gracious."  As he went from gate to gate, trying to get his card to work, a police officer came over.  Then the police officer started writing him a ticket.  Apparently, there was some technical-name-billing issue with the cards, and he couldn't use both of them at the same time, because it was "stealing" from the Metro.  

Brennan went from bright red to pale.  I was on the other side trying to explain.  "He wasn't trying to cheat the system!  He was just paying for me!  He was being nice!  He put a lot of money on those!  I saw him!"  The officer just gave him a warning, praise the Lord, and let him through the gates.  I don't think Brennan will ever ride the Metro again.

The little boy tucked his defeated tail between his legs and walked back to his car.  There still wasn't much to talk about, and I think he was getting the "vibes" that I wouldn't be going on a second-date with him.  Once in his car I plugged in my ipod and put on some upbeat (but NOT sweet or romantic!) music to try to lighten the mood.  Or at least to break the silence.

Rain still spit down from on high.  And I leaned back in my seat, bopping my head to the music. "Almost home. I'm glad this guy is so nice. But I just want to be home." Brennan drove onto the curved highway ramp.  Unfortunately, he did that a bit too fast.  We hit a slick part of wet road which sent us sliding towards the concrete barriers on the drivers-side of the car.  He obviously has better driving skills then I do, because Brennan actually got control of the out-of-control car before we hit anything.  My heart continued to beat and I blinked again.  Before I opened my eyes from my blink, we hit another bad spot (we were moving pretty fast) and this time, instead of getting in control of the car, the car spun ALL the way around - complete 180.  We were now facing oncoming highway traffic, sliding back towards the concrete barriers - only now they were on MY side of the car.  I braced my body and put my head in my lap and held it real tight with my hands.  It was the slowest, fastest second of my life as we slammed into the rock walls.

By the way, concrete is really really REALLY hard.  The car came to an instant, dead, eerie halt.  Other cars flew by.  "Are you okay?!? Are you hurt? Are you alright?!"  I sat up straight.  Why yes! I was okay!  Praise God!  My heart was in my knees and the beats from it echoed to my fingertips, but I was definitely okay!

Brennan was too, so he jumped out to assess the damages.  And damages they were.  His car was totaled.  I could elaborate on this, but honestly, the point will be made:  he called the tow-truck, we waited on hour, it never came, he called again, they apologized for forgetting to dispatch it, I sat in the back of the car listening to old Michael Jackson, my shoulder started to hurt, but I didn't dare tell him, he paced outside in the drizzle, I lamented my newly-cracked iPhone screen (which I also didn't tell him about), the tow-truck came, took us to Brennan's house, he took his roommates car and drove me to Target, I said a worn-out "good night" and drove home.

The next day my shoulder and neck were quite sore (but probably not as bad as Brennan's ego).  Brennan wanted to pay for the doctors appointment.  I argued, but he insisted.  He also had to pay $1500 to insurance to total his car.  He only owed about $250 on it.  And he had to buy a new car.  "Good luck with your whole no-debt thing! Glad I could help!
 And when he met up to pay me for my doctor's appointment he had just gotten his eyes dilated at the Eye Doctor, so he was all blinky and bobble-head-y and bumble-bee-eye-y.  

Poor Brennan.  He's a very nice boy.  
Bless his heart. And his debt-free plans.

First Date Disaster Part I {Personal}

If you think there are no new frontiers, 
watch a boy ring the front doorbell on his first date.
olin miller  

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To quote one of my favorite movies, 500 Days of Summer:

"This is a story of boy meets girl, but you should know upfront, 
this is not a love story."


Maybe someday I'll tell this blog an actual love story from my own life
(in fact, I'm very hopeful that I will... soon)
but that is not what today is.
Today is a first date story. An only date story.


The time? Early September in 2010.
The characters? Brennan and me.
Let the equal parts sad and funny story begin:


Brennan was skinny, nerdy, kind of big ear-ed, 
brown haired, brown eyed, brown wire glasses-ed, southern gentleman
He was as born and raised in North Carolina as his twangy accent proved.
After taking a chef military job, he was relocated to the Washington DC area,
rude, traffic-jammed, busy DC.


Brennan + I first met at Target.  I was looking for power tools.
(Yeah, at Target.  I need help.)
He assisted me.  Conversation was friendly.
Nice, Christian military guy.  I could roll with that!

We texted some, enjoyed talking about food, he would ask to call every now and again.  All was pleasant and I thought he was a very nice guy.  (And that he is.)
Then the inevitable happened.  He asked if he could take me to dinner.  I wasn't REALLY sure if I wanted to, but I figured, at the least, it would give me a basis to have some clarity.   I agreed.  Only problem was that I was headed out of town for a week.  When I returned I had plans every night for the next four nights.

But, yes, he could take me to dinner 11 days from now.  Sure.
I really didn't think about him very much, and I was never particularly excited to hear from him.  But I always enjoyed the conversation.  He teased me when I tried to talk in a southern accent, and I teased him for having a completely un-dangerous military job.  "You're basically the kicker on a football team."  

After those 11 days of waiting-for-the-date, I came to the point where I knew I wasn't interested in anything "more."  Nice guy, absolutely. Yeah, nice nice guy.  I'd already agreed to the date, so as any elegant lady would, I kept my word and didn't cancel.  

The dear kid had planned it out all.  He knew where we were going, he had reservations, he even had a special menu item picked out that he thought I would enjoy.  At some point pre-date he mentioned not knowing where parking was downtown.  "Oh," I helpfully saved the day, "let's just take the Metro!  It'll be so much easier that way."  He didn't like my save.  He wanted me to feel like a lady.  Special.  He didn't want to take a public transit train and make me walk.  "I love the Metro.  Please, I WANT to take the Metro."  He gave in.  We made plans to meet at the local Target (charming, huh?) at 6:30 to make our 8:00 dinner reservations downtown.  

I didn't use my favorite eye-shadow.  And I didn't fuss with my hair.  My skinny jeans were sort of dirty and wrinkled.  But, hey, at night who can really tell anyway?
My new navy heels + favorite black Banana Republic shirt completed my half-hearted outfit, and I arrived at Target right on time. Two minutes early to be exact.

15 minutes later Brennan wasn't there.  "If he's standing me up, that's totally cool because I really would rather go home."  I called, and his phone didn't even ring. RIght to a "ding-ding-ding! I'm sorry.  The AT&T customer you are trying to reach, is not available.  Ding-ding-ding!"  Um.  Now what?  Within seconds I got a call.  "Hey Kristen!  Hey! It's Brennan.  I'm so sorry I'm late.  I stopped at the Apple Store on the way home from work and got a new phone.  But it's taking forever to sync.  And I got stuck in traffic before I tried to sync it and I don't even have any of the contacts on my phone anymore so I had to go find your phone number from your business card.  I literally just got home and haven't even showered, but I'm on my way!  I'm coming!"  I felt bad for the sweet, flustered thing.  He was trying so hard.  I assured him I would wait.  He showed up within 10 minutes and we were on our way.

"I'm sorry my car is such a mess," (it wasn't) "I was going to get it cleaned."  No worries, Brennan.  Looks great to me!  

Making surprisingly good time, we rolled into the Metro station and I headed towards the booths to buy a ticket.  But Southern Brennan was already on it.  He had purchased two SmartCards for our evening - one for me, one for him.  "Aw, you didn't have to do that!  Thanks so much!"  I really was impressed that he already had paid for tickets and gotten us EACH one, especially since he's not from this crazy area and doesn't usually ride the Metro!  

We headed to the little-gates-where-you-slide-your-card and, of course, since he's a gentleman, Brennan let me go ahead of him.  I slid right through, no problem.  When he tried, however, his card spit back out at him and a red light flashed.  He tried again.  "Is it upside down?" I offered.  He didn't answer, just tried another gate.  Same thing.  We stood there for a second, on opposite sides of the barriers, looking at each other.  "Try one more time?"  Luckily, fourth try was the charm! And we headed to the train together.  But this incident didn't come without taking a man-toll on the poor guy.  "I just can't win tonight, can I!"

I "haha"-ed and told him not to worry about it.  The train took a while to get moving, and Brennan sat in his seat, checking the time constantly.  Once we finally got moving he was noticeably more calm.  We small-talked about our days, and my mind was mostly on the food I was about to eat.  I'd heard great things about the restaurant.  But after only a few minutes of conversation, I realized we weren't moving.  The other passengers on the train started fidgeting and head-turning out the windows and murmuring about the stopped train, too.

Moments later the overhead announcement came on: "Passengers, we are sorry for the delay.  The Medical Center Station has caught on fire.  All trains are sharing one track to pass through.  Thank you for your patience."  I started to laugh.  Brennan did not.

The Medical Center Station was one stop before ours and only a few stops away, but on a nice summer evening, during rush hour, this wait could take a loooong time.  Brennan decided to call the restaurant and ask if we could move our reservation back.  But we were in a tunnel.  So there was no service.  His hands were fidgety.  Once we made it out of a tunnel, he pulled out his brand spankin' new iPhone to call, only to to be reminded that his phone hadn't synced all the way and he had no contacts on his phone.  

"It's okay!  I'm sure it'll be alright if we are a few minutes late.  Don't worry about it."  He was worried about it.  He sat there, with low reception, googling the restaurant, getting their number off-line, and changing the reservation time.  I sat their admiring my heels.  When we FINALLY arrived at our station, we ran off, ready to book it to dinner.  I slid my SmartCard through the gate and started jogging towards the escalator.  Quickly looking over my shoulder, I saw Brennan stuck on the other side.  Again.  He was not a happy Metro traveler.  After bumping into pregnant ladies, kicking a stroller and backing everyone else up, he just snuck through the gates with someone else.  "I don't know what the matter is!  I don't know why this isn't working!"  

I was out of "it'll be okay's" because I was so hungry, so I just smiled and kept walking.  The escalators took us from the depths of the underground station, to the corner of a bustling, dark, humid and rainy city street.  We walked downhill, in the rain, I in heels, he in shiny black shoes for three whole blocks.  I started running.  So did my mascara.  Then I started to smell.  So I stopped running.  My shoe got stuck in a grate.  Brennan's glasses were all foggy.  It wasn't the most shining moment of history.

After we arrived at the restaurant, and after I spent some time flipping my hair and rubbing hand-lotion under my armpits in the bathroom, we ordered dinner.  And I will say this:  the food was amamamzing.  We ordered a lot.  And we ate a lot.  The waitress and staff at the restaurant actually gave us a round of applause.  "I've NEVER seen two people eat so much!"  Thaaaat's embarrassing.  

The actual conversation over dinner was 90-percent about the food.  I was definitely being kind of difficult - well, not difficult… I just wasn't trying to make conversation too enjoyable?  I can fake it pretty well.  And I didn't want him to get vibes that I was really feeling it.  I don't know.  I just ate my food, talked about the food and was reserved yet hopefully polite?  We did speak about Brennan's newfound debt-free living approach.  He was really excited about it, so I let him talk.  Seemed to make him happy?  He was only one month away from paying that car off in cash, and his plan was to sell it, buy a "new" used car for less then he sold his current car, and start from scratch being debt-free.  His car was a cute little white two-door - and that's about all I could tell you about it.  Well, that and that it was just a few weeks away from being all paid for which made Brennan talkative.  At the end of the meal, the $130 bill came and I almost rolled off my chair.  (At the point it definitely would have been a "roll" too… not a "fall."  I was filled.  And very circular.)

In my head I started mentally adding up his costs for the day: new iPhone + two SmartCards during rush hour + $130 dinner.  Yikes.  I felt bad.  He REALLY was a nice guy.  At least he has a good job?  And he's not 19.  He's an adult.  He can afford this.  He hasn't gone on a first date in three years.  His car is almost paid off.  He has roommates who help pay rent.  Yeah, this is no big deal.

Once he paid, we left and walked back to the Metro.  This time, however, we were so full we couldn't stand straight.  We wobbled UP the hill, in the rain.  I finally took my shoes off.  My breath was short and smelly.  I was so so so excited to get on the Metro and go home.  One of my friends was having a movie night at her house, and if everything went smoothly, I might even be able to change and make it there in time.  Yay!

[part II to be continued tomorrow...]