Hannah Nicole | Senior Portraits in "Paris"

"Maybe you should go to Paris. It helped me a lot."

"I WAS THERE FOR THIRTY-FIVE MINUTES ONCE. CHANGING PLANES."

 "Oh, but Paris isn't for changing planes, it's... it's for changing your outlook, 

for... for throwing open the windows and letting in... 

letting in la vie en rose." 

Sabrina [1954]

"You've worked hard and you've been through a lot, it's time for you to spread your wings, to go to Paris."  My dad, ever the rom-com-lover, has a knack for making movie references at perfect times in real life (like when I draped onto his bedroom door, with a seven-page handwritten later from Caleb in hand, rocking back and forth with the hinges, asking his advice on what I should do:  "Who are you kidding, he had you from hello."  Or the day after Caleb proposed and I showed dad my ring "I cannot believe that anyone can deserve you, but it apppears I am overruled.")  He was talking to me as I approached my high-school graduation.  I knew he wasn't talking about literal Paris, but he called me Sabrina and thanked me for my years over the garage and wanted me to find myself as a woman.

You know when you meet someone during their years in Paris, and Hannah has just arrived, suitcase in hand.  La Vie en Rose means "the pink-tinged life" or "life in love."  I think in some ways once you go to "Paris" you never really leave, at least not in your heart, and you're always learning yourself.  She's off to Seattle and art school and wet, windy autumn.  It will throw open her windows.

In anticipation for this new 'country' of her life, I wanted to photograph Hannah in a way that she hasn't seen herself.  Hannah is most comfortable in soft, jammie-type clothes with messy hair and chapstick.  She loves cheese, but hates mac-and-cheese, and learned about poise-through-pain during ballet.  She has been writing indirectly about her ache, and recently shared more details of her reality.

Dear Hannah, 

Oftentimes, in my short experience on earth, people need to think more and pay better attention.  Many use words that they don't know what they mean (I'm guilty of this, I've learned -- I try hard to speak accurately) and they create a life of fake happiness and pretend.  That isn't to say they don't have genuine joy or care about good things, but so often there is fear and even inability to be honest in their own brains and hearts.  Their is a flimsiness to their world.  You are unlike these people.  

You, young lady, have balanced the truth of your struggle with sincere respect to your family.  Life hasn't been "The Hannah Show," no, most of the times it's "The Make One More Peanut Butter Sandwich and Fold One More Towel and Tie One More Pair of Shoes Before Math Problems Show," which can be a very boring show some seasons.  But throughout the lonely homework nights, the upheaval, the not-traveling to exotic places, the responsibility, the break-downs, the photographs, the complicated emotions, you have been on a treasure hunt.  You have been unwilling to give-up on beauty and you crave the depth that only pain can teach.  Your self-awareness and kindness are moving.  The adjectives you use when you speak and write are accurate, not excessive or unnecessary (but, I mean, we both want to get better at describing with verbs, right? ;) 

Sometimes, if I can offer a word of advice, I think it's time to pause the search and settle in for an embrace.  There is much you will be, and there is more that you don't know than you do know, nevertheless you are not average nor are you dumb.  But it's okay to 'be' and stand up straight at times.  You have maturity greater than most I know (and I look up to you for that.)  You are more talented, more wise, more happy than I think you give yourself credit for.  I wanted to show you in images what I see in your heart: a knock-out, strong, canny, red woman and you do not fade into the background.  Looking under the couches and in the dirt has rewarded you with many gifts; don't hoard them away waiting for the perfect time, until you are all you want to be.  Pull them out and use with confidence.

God has made you to speak, sometimes with your fingers and sometimes with your pictures and sometimes with your mouth.  He will make others to listen and learn.  I love your easy sweetness and how you giggled with your hands over your mouth, shaking your head in disbelief, when you saw these pictures.  "I can't even look at them!" you said.  "It's...I.. I just look so beautiful."  You said it like you almost believed it, too.  You are Hannah.  You are beautiful.  

You are beautiful because you write me tear-jerking texts that I never respond to and you write again.  You are beautiful because you have laid in dark rooms on various couches, unable to sleep.  You are beautiful because you love your father and you love your mother and you love the family they've given to you.  You are beautiful because you enjoy comfort food, and you meet the Comforter in His meals.  You are beautiful because your eyes.  You are beautiful because you sat in my house, engaging my dad and my little sisters and my baby boy, with sincerity.  You are beautiful because laughing hard brings tears to your eyes and your desire is written all over your face:  You're looking forward to the next time that happens, hopefully in a couple minutes.  You are beautiful because you take the time to listen and take the time to write.  You are beautiful because you are generous.  You are beautiful because you're brave and you're beautiful because you're scared and you're especially beautiful because you know they go hand-in-hand.  You are beautiful because you savor mango salsa.  You are beautiful because you're peaceful. 

Go off to Seattle and be yourself and please keep sharing with us, because learning from you has been one of the most clear 'goods' of this year.  La Vie en Rose, my friend.

Admiringly,

Kristen

"ONCE UPON A TIME THERE LIVED A SMALL GIRL. 

AND LIFE WAS PLEASANT AND VERY, VERY SIMPLE.

BUT, ONE DAY, THE GIRL GREW UP AND WENT BEYOND THE WALLS OF THE GROUNDS

AND FOUND THE WORLD."

--- + --- + --- + --- + --- + --- to book your own i'm kristen family session,  especially in the maryland/virginia/dc, or oklahoma to dallas areas E-MAIL ME HERE

StoryTime WorkShop Re-Cap | Part 1

S T O R Y T I M E    W O R K S H O P    R E - C A P 

Right off the bat, I hoped that the StoryTime WorkShop would be more of a retreat, a vision re-setter, a time to be thrown into someone else's story, a getaway.   There is much I could say, but what I'd most want to tell you about our weekend was the people I met.  Five delightful lives.  I spent a lot of time watching them work, talk and interact.  I love them.  And I love how we all connected.  It's a little risky to say "Hey!  Five strangers!  Come stay in my basement apartment, while my family of nine lives upstairs, and I share the space with you... and my husband!"  If it didn't work, it would have been awfully uncomfortable.  But the magic was there and it was as lively, relaxed and comfortable as I was hoping.  And without further ado, I want you to meet (or re-meet) these savory women:

“Advice? I don’t have advice. Stop aspiring and start writing. If you’re writing, you’re a writer. 

Write like you’re a goddamn death row inmate and the governor is out of the country and there’s no chance for a pardon.  

Write like you’re clinging to the edge of a cliff, white knuckles, on your last breath, and you’ve got just one last thing to say, like you’re a bird flying over us and you can see everything, and please, for God’s sake, tell us something that will save us from ourselves.  

Take a deep breath and tell us your deepest, darkest secret, so we can wipe our brow and know that we’re not alone. 

Write like you have a message for the king!  Or don’t. Who knows, maybe you’re one of the lucky ones who doesn’t have to.” 

S T E P H   M A T T H E W S  // taylor clark photography

There's a ring on her hand, and a song in her heart.  I couldn't quite find the perfect word to describe her - she's systematic and thorough and professional and wonderfully clumsy and goofy and fake-gangster.  "My fiance says I'm 'corky.'" Yes! That's it corky.  Cute and dorky ;)  She can barely talk about anything she cares about without crying, and she doesn't know what "half-in" means.  She's irresistible and feisty.  She drips food on herself and laughs heartily while finding a rag to clean up.  She accidentally bumps people when she's talking because the stories sometimes get grander than herself and who can pay attention to arms and hands when you're in the middle of something great?  She's a playful little girl in a statuesque, head-turning body.  She's a strong woman, in a bouncy world.   

H A I L E Y   H U G G I N S // photos by hailey

She's Georgia.  Sunny, dimpled, and demure.  We never called her Hailey.  Georgia Huggins, it's perfect.  Especially with that "coquettish, southern girl smile, the kind you could pour over waffles."  She's - to be sickeningly cliche - all peaches n' cream, but let me be square:  she is no fruitcake.  Tough and fierce.  Confidently kind.  Helpfully stubborn.  She's matter-of-fact, business minded, and doesn't take herself too seriously.  I mentioned to her that I love how most of her profile pictures are her making "stupid" (not duck) faces.  "Seriously though, do girls know they don't have to look good ALL THE TIME?  It's okay to look dumb sometimes!"  Her lack of "trying" is one of her most endearing qualities.  Especially when who she is is so light-hearted and nice.  Stubborn, of course.  But sincerely happy and wanting those around her to be happy, too.  She's hard to not be drawn to immediately, and to want to be your sister forever.

M E G A N  L U C K E R O T H // megan luckeroth blog

Megan was our brilliant iceberg.   She notices, processes, thinks through, and understands far more than she "hands out."  She doesn't blab or rant.   It's like you can nearly feel the poetry when she is around.  She is one of the most fascinating presence's I've ever met, with an intensely beautiful mind - shaded and shadowed and colorful and vibrant - and eyes that take it in, and lips that speak about it slowly.  You get the feeling that she sees things no one else does.  That she appreciates or is moved by or tickled to laughing-tears by a details that most our world would miss.  But somehow she's not an "iceberg" in the sense that she's impossible to crack or difficult to interact with.  She's so warm and delicate and grace-filled - a calming breeze.  She makes me want to ask her questions and hear your perspective.   

H A N N A H  M A R T I N // hannah nicole blog

God decided to describe her with adjectives by making her look like what she is like.   Wide-eyed, specifically.  A short ballerina of a lady, with eyes that are fairy-like nearly confusing and hair that is unruly and carefree.  She asks some of the most heartfelt questions and recites the words of authors easily.  She's chatty and silly and is searching, always.  She is decisive and confident, and sincerely pleasant and inspiring.  It doesn't take long to guess that she is the oldest daughter in a big family - she has that unmistakeable air.  Nurturing, sincere, older-than-her-age, talented, responsible, calm.  You miss her when she leaves.  And learn from her when she's near.

K H L O E   W I L L I A M S // khloe paige blog

After she left, I kept calling her "the firefly."  Khloe is a bright young spark, on the cusp of major life decisions right and left.   She was the quickest to laugh, to tell a story, to open up, to talk.  Her heart strings are tied in many places, and she is a family-girl to.the.bone.  She has whimsy in her eyes, and Elizabeth Bennett in her heart beats.  She could weave in and out of nonsense chatter, plunging questions and ideas, and practical steps seamlessly.  She's not afraid - at all.   Timidity is not in her deck of cards.  I sometimes wished I could scoop up a handful of that trait, and eat it like (clean) snow.  I lost that ability somewhere of the years, and she's a dazzling reminder of the beauty there is in fearlessness.





Ladies and friends, thank you for making my month.  For effecting my life.  Deaths, break-ups, moves, self-realizations, "God moments," childhoods, concerns, wishes - the deepest, realest, honestest ones -, photographs, and stories.  You came open and eager, and I hope you left refreshed and with visions dancing in your head, like sugar plum fairies.  I wish you could come back, now, so I could enjoy in person some more.  But I also love waiting and watching... seeing stories start to pop up on your blogs. I love looking forward to learning more, as you tell it yourself.  You are all dear to my heart <3 p="">

New Blog Design + Giveaway 2013

"toto,

i have a feeling we're not in kansas anymore."

dorothy - wizard of oz

I once read about a study done to test human "follow" patterns and herd mentality.  There was a test subject put in a room with 19 people.  The test subject was under the impression that these 19 folks were other testers, but in reality they were "in" on the experiment.  They all did a brief written test, then they had some group projects to do.  A simple math problem was put up on a board (something like 63 + 24).  As the group discussed, they all instantly agreed the answer to the problem was 97.  The one tester was quiet and hesitant.  He counted on his fingers.  But in the end, he just said what everyone else did.  "Yeah, 97."  You've probably seen those youtube pranks where a large group of people will turn a corner and come running and screaming down the alley.  Often the clueless passerby will join in and run with them!  Why run? I DON'T KNOW! BUT EVERYONE ELSE IS! NINETY SEEEEVEN!!!

Launching a new blog design at the beginning of the year feels a little flock like to me (I'm obviously rounding up the group in the back).  Winter, after holidays, is obviously the most practical time for a primarily spring to fall photographer to get other business tasks done.  Last winter I was set ablaze thanks to Alt Summit and I decided to re-do my blog and start writing out my love story.  I also instituted the Enjoy Project.  I wanted to start taking the gradual turn into expanding my vision for this blog, as well as my vision for my career and daily life.  I was single, renting a room with my friends and on the verge of so many bigs.

One year later,  I'm a wife who shares a happy apartment with a stud-muffin.  I'm a mother, who shares her body with a little son.  I'm writing more, cooking more (well, I was cooking more... now I'm eating more. haha.), I'm taking steps to figure out how to actually turn a blog series into a real book.  We're taking our hard-earned cash to Oklahoma to finish building our house.  We're talking often about that soup & sandwich shop we want to open someday.  I'm taking fewer weddings, and more "other shoots."  I realize that I love wedding photography, but I don't love a lot of wedding photography.  I hope to shoot weddings until my hips break, but I find myself far more interested, inspired and emotional when my shoots vary - from promotional shoots, maternity shoots, documentary style shooting, portraits, babies, weddings, home life.  This goes against what I had been taught.  "Don't try to be average at a lot of things!  Focus on ONE thing! Specialize in one area!"  For some people, that is probably great advice.  But for me, I need the variety.  I do better in all areas when every week has brand new events.  Maybe that is why I loved sports?  You practice and practice, but have no idea what to expect come game time.  A music recital isn't like that.  You practice and practice and practice your piece... and then... you play... that same piece!  Just like you practiced! (hopefully.)



All of that to say, I needed a site that could keep up with my varied interests and pursuits.  A place that looked like, you know, a grown woman's site.  It was time.  97! ;)  The dear, talented Hannah Nicole took over my giant dream.  She is the one to thank for the new branding and design.  Please sing her praises and love her a lot.   Hannah, you're absolutely one-of-a-kind and dazzling.

But WHAT is a new design, without a giveaway?  Come on!  That's the way to share the love!  One lucky man, woman or child is going to be the proud and delighted owner of these four gifts:

$100 Southwest GiftCard
$100 Etsy GiftCard
Smitten Kitchen Cookbook
Soft Leather Journal 

You pretty people have ONE week to enter!  Next Monday the winner will be announced!  Cheers throughout the land!  Let the dancing in the streets begin!  (And you all better hope I don't keep these for myself.  I all of these prizes for myself.  Especially the cookbook.  How well do you trust my character... muhahah? ;)

Six Stupendous Social (like an ice cream club!) Ways To Win The Prizes!

Tweet about it: follow me on twitter + then retweet my giveaway tweet to your pack of wolves! (make sure my handle is included so I see that you did it!)
Instagram about it: Screen-cap the new blog design or giveaway list, and let the photographers of the land know about the giveaway (make sure you mention me... and if you're instagram is private, follow me and leave me comment on my photo so I see your entry!)
Pin it: Re-pin the giveaway list and tag me in a comment!
Blog it: Feel free to steal my giveaway list jpeg and post it on your own blog, linking back to my blog.
Facebook like and share it: Like my page on Facebook! And then share

*Comment [required]: And tell me what you'd do with your winnings! (Where would you like to fly off to with your Southwest giftcard, or what you have your eye on over at Etsy?  Who do you want to wine and dine?  Any fun reasons to have a new journal?) (you can also comment separately and let me know how else you entered, if you want to be sure I see it!  I'll be keeping a tally system with each name, but I know how it is.  If you're going to do all the hard work, you want to be positive it is getting you a shot at the paaah-riiizze!)

Alright!  I'm... happy.  This is fun.  I hope you enjoy it all!