Enjoy Instagram | 30 Days of April

"so it took an eight-year-old child to bring 'em to their senses...

 that proves something."

harper lee

You don't have to look far to find a reminder that "it's the little things in life."  I don't know if it's a new era of internet, blogging mama's and Pinterest that has this sunny quotes more accessible, or if because of this new era of technology that we feel we need to be reminded so often.  

Maybe it's like a tall home? There are of course the monumental and symbolic floors of the house.  Graduation, marriage, children, the beginning of a particular career that took one's life a whole different direction, a significant move, buying a home, retiring. The big stuff. But the "little" stair steps that connect the floors are possibly more important than the floors themselves. 

The teachers, who day in and day out nurtured and taught you, the friends who built and destroyed you, the restaurant that hosted a first date, the outfit that won and the clothes that were left behind on the floor for the same first date, the first kisses and "I love you's" and realizations, the happy friends who are so excited to throw you a shower (and the one scandalous friend we all have the offends your grandmother every other sentence), the belly that grew slowly but surely, the first time you went shopping and saw baby clothes and couldn't resist buying something - even a pair of socks - for your own child inside you, the trips to Home Depot, the hard hard hard hours late into the night, the excited unpacking and arranging your own home, when "your song" comes on the radio, you find out a friend is dating a really (actually truly) good guy, your guests loved the meal you made, friends bring you meal after meal during hard times, that really really good book you finished, when you wake up and actually love your job on a random Wednesday in the winter, he texted you during the day just because you're on his mind, your mom helps you with the things only moms can help with, and finding good deals at the grocery store so you can pay your rent and your taxes on time.  

I'm passionate about caring for those little things because the big things would mean nearly nothing without them.  The things and stuff of life are often condemned as creating busyness, greed and selfishness.  Sure, of course they do sometimes.  But other times they are really, really good.  

"I thank Thee for the temporal blessings of this world - the refreshing air, the light of the sun, the food that renews strength, the raiment that clothes, the dwelling that shelters, the sleep that gives rest, the starry canopy of night, the summer breeze, the flowers' sweetness, the music of flowing streams, the happy endearments of family, kindred, friends. 


Things animate, things inanimate, minister to my comfort. My cup runs over. Suffer me not to be insensible to these daily mercies." (one of my favorite Puritan prayers.)


SO. As flowers bloom and light lingers longer we're going to share with each other little joys.  Each day in April will be focused on finishing this sentence: "Today I am enjoying __(verb)___ __(instagram pic)___." 


Hashtag #enjoyproject and include @imkristen_ so I can see your picture!

Enjoy Project | Making Cinnamon Pull-Apart Bread

“how many slams in an old screen door? depends how loud you shut it. how many slices in a bread? depends how thin you cut it. how much good inside a day? depends how good you live 'em."shel silverstein When it comes to putting something into my mouth, I have three main categories: cheesy, carb-y and soup-y.  My main squeeze, however, has three different categories.  His nutrition heart beats to the rhythm of beef, sweets and sugar. And sweets.  If I fed him a hamburger on plain bread with a cool-glass-of-Coca-Cola! and chocolate cake for dinner every night... well, he'd never leave my company.  But, instead, I make him do crazy things - crazy cultured things and crazy budget things - like pad thai and Crying Tiger pork, and panini's with mustard wine cheese and lemon pepper pasta.  
Here's our issue: I don't like sweets, and I can't bake.  (Come on, when was the last time you had a chocolate fudge bars sprinkled with feta atop fettucine!) My cooking is a creative endeavor like writing or photographing.  It's not HARD LIKE MATH AND SCIENCE AND GRAPHS AND ALGORITHMS AND THOSE BIG FAT CALCULATORS.  People who like baking also probably like sudoku, graphing charts and flash cards. Don't you?  (Actually, don't answer that.  I just tell myself to soothe my soul. "You can't be creative AND bake. Those are the two kinds of people in the world, don't you know?")I don't bake.  I get clammy.  I start thinking about timed addition tests.  And long division.  There are so many bowls. So so many bowls.  And a lot of white things.  It intimidates me.  "Take this light sand and dark sand, mix it perfectly with goo and you'll have a cake!" I'd much prefer "Take this pasta and this chicken, and you'll have chicken in pasta!" For the sake of my dearest dude, I have tried to incorporate desserts into our menu more often.  I buy cookies on sale.  I bought an ice-cream maker and made awful peach-mint ice cream.  I even attempted a "sooOoo easy" coffee cake and my boy ate one slice. That is bad sign when this Sugar Monster is around.  If something is bad he usually pities me by getting seconds. One slice? Of cake? Ouch.
But guys. Guys.  I made Zoom Yummy's Cinnamon-Pull Apart Bread TWICE. It's truly the easiest thing.  And I'm being very serious when I tell you I followed her directions exactly. She says to make a smiley face in the dough. On it.While you wait for the dough to rise, you can play with other rolls. (Get it? Bah'jing!)And I waited for the yeast to beat up the happy face.  Like Petra said to.Now, you can't squelch my inner dreamer and artist forever.  I decided (by choice) to roll my dough into a vision I had: the offspring of a polar bear and a large tortellini.  You'd have to be creative like me to understand.The shading represents the deep struggle the Polar Bear and the Large Tortellini fought through.  No one thought they'd make it.  (Some of you simpleton's may have thought I just poured too much cinnamon in the corner. Narrow minds.  The light represents hope! And a new dawn! And just ignore the knife... and the 350 degree oven of fire.Now we need to cut the dough into this handy dandy pull-apart pieces! Petra chose to roll her dough into a neat, long rectangle with rounded corners and she used a ruler (LIKE YOU DO FOR GEOMETRY HOMEWORK.)  When you have a magical eye like I do, you can just eyeball these matters.  Because it IS crucial that these dough squares are perfectly measured. Per. Fect. Lee. Mezj. Erred.Let's go in for the close up:Petra has the brilliant idea stack the perfection squares into perfection piles. I like to say that my cinnamon stacks are Monet inspired. (See that little dough strip on the middle left of this image? I rolled it around in all the sugar and ate it after I shot this frame.)

I wedged all the bread into the pan like she told me to.  

I also accidentally shot this entire cooking-process in JPEG.  Worst.  This isn't exactly a shoot you can start over... But look at all the dough! Cuddling together like a pack of puppies.

After I cooked the bread I dropped it onto a towel.  And then before the next frame could fire half the loaf was gone.  And I have no more pictures.  But go look at Zoom Yummy's blog!  She took pictures before she ate! 

Can someone who can't bake please try to make this? It would make my life.  And take a picture of the finished product (unlike I did.)  And then send some to my Jay-Z (because I'm his "Beyonce"... get it?)

Enjoy Weddings | Sam + Emily | Newton White Mansion

the space between us now
will all work out for good somehow.
life takes patience,
and patience takes time,but i can't get you off of my minddave barnes - adelineFebruary 21, 2009 8:57 pmSamBran: btw, my friend emily has become obsessed with your and lydia's blogsshe's mad at my for showing them to her. prime procrastination tool.Me: haha aww that's cute. blogging is fun.

We "all" (mostly Lydia and me) promised our good friend Sam that he was going to find a wife at Hillsdale College.  We just knew it.  Now, we were also convinced this wife would be a dumb blonde goof-ball that would drive him crazy.  

The first time I ever knew Emily existed was on February 21, 2009. I was told she loved mine and Lydia's blogs. On March 23, 2012 Lydia and I (and Ellie!) shot Emily's wedding to Sam.  Today she is on the blog.

I love Emily for Sam.  Sam is trivia-brilliant.  He knows a lot about a lot.  He's a reader, a thinker, a learner and a worker.  For a young guy this is good, but can also produce big heads.  Though I felt terrible for him (it really was the dumbest punishment ever) it did my heart a little good to see Sam sit through one detention our senior year of highschool.  Just to keep him humble.  Sam was my first friend as a baby (our mothers met when they were pregnant with us, and are still best friends to this day.) His family were like local cousins, or siblings that lived in a different home.  

Emily has softened him.  He's a gentler, kinder man thanks to her.  She's an incredibly capable, deep, good woman.  And not a dumb blonde ;) 

I felt like I was watching my brother get married on Friday.  If I had let myself I would have cried right on through that whole ceremony.  I've never seen Sam happier.  People say "Oh, they were so happy! They smiled all day long." No, I don't think you understand.  Sam smiled ALL. DAY. LONG.  He was smirking during prayers, grinning while singing worship songs.  Jovial, happy and sweet - I would never have called Sam "sweet."  He's sweet now. 

Emily's determination, patience, friendship and companionship is lovely. I love them together.  I loved their wedding.  I love how elegant Emily was and how gracefully she carried herself.  I loved being there.

It was a happy day.

And I'm happy for you, kids. 

---


ps. For a little walk down memory lane, here is some old school I'm Kristen and my fat "big brother."Aaaand this is the day Lyds and I met Emily! She was in town but Sam had to work so we took her around muddy hills in a random neighborhood... and a pet store.  We've gotten better at hosting since then.

Enjoy Weddings | Johnny + Kim | Small Little Church Wedding

there's nothing fancy about the way i love you

there's nothing you could not find in another man

but i love you as hard as i can

dave barnes - nothing fancy

Everyone expected snow.  "It will be so magical." If not snow, everyone hoped it at least wouldn't be too windy.  "But the inside of the church is beautiful, so if worse comes to worse we'll do our best in there."

This January wedding for childhood friends Johnny and Kim was dazzling.  The wedding was happy, quaint, genuine and tremendously precious.  Oh, and sunny - one might even have said "balmy" or perhaps "warm" at the right time.

Kim is a mysterious person.  She is intellectual, deep and quite thoughtful, but she is also reserved and soft-spoken.  Her heart is big (like her eyes), but it is not worn on her sleeve.

Kim is kind and not a flirt.  She is true and not gawdy.  But hidden behind her graceful, almost-ballerina-esque exterior, lies a cache of imagination and discovery.

Johnny had the daunting but worthwhile task of chipping away at this beautiful mind, the adventure of capturing her tender heart.

How do you go about, however, asking out your best friend?  The platonic, we'll-never-date, you're like my sibling, friendship that transitions to romantic relationship. Aaaah, that's a scary one.  The stakes are oh-so high.  The reward is oh-so great, but the risk is oh-so serious.  You could possibly lose your favorite person, or you could spend forever... with your very best friend. Whew.

Johnny took his time.  Johnny prayed.  Johnny deepened their friendship.  Kim started to have that age-old "hmmm." Johnny still waited.  And when it was right, he asked her a question - a question that was sure to change his life one way or the other.

And she accepted.  Their first date led to more dates leading a proposal to move mountains.

Want to hear the proposal story?  It's a brilliant one.  Johnny and Kim packed their bags to go visit family in Virginia.  On the way to a family home, Johnny took a detour.  To the airport.

"What is going on?!" Johnny kept his secret.  He kept his secret all the way until they landed.  Once on the ground, they rented a car and drove through the night: all the way to the Grand Tetons, Kim's favorite mountain range.

Romantic, huh?  A surprise, whirlwind trip to your dream vacation.  Mmmyea.

The two daring adventurers hiked and explored, and at the perfect crest with literally a view from a dream, Johnny asked his best friend to be his best friend all the days of their life.  With a marriage on the horizon (too much? haha) these two finished their romantic vacation and savored the newly-engaged bliss together.

Up on a much smaller mountain, in a much smaller Maryland town, not many months later, there was a wedding for these best friends.

Also, would the rest of my brides mind getting ready in this room?  I'm sure it wouldn't be inconvenient at all!

I love these two side by side:

I also love these two side by side:

Though I will never love coldness, I will ever love crisp winter light.

Johnny is infatuated with his bride. I've never seen a man so delicate with a woman before (especially such a tough, outdoorsy man!)

She's like his angel.

Would you just love a sweet example?  I can do that.  I was taking portraits of Kim while Johnny watched from the side.

Then all of a sudden! Completely unprompted he swooped in! And stole a kiss! And then faded back to the side.  It was adorable.  Kim blushed, I clicked away, and Johnny rocked on his toes.

Good night, moon.

I was obsessed with their tender body language.

That right there is a man thrilled to be out of a suit, and leaving with his woman.  Ow ow!

He even lifted her into the car and set her in the seat.  I love it.

Enjoy Writing | Oh My My My | Part 3

i had a dream last night

and rusting far below me

battered hulls and broken hard ships

leviathan and lonely

josh ritter - change of time

start by reading part 1 + part 2!

First we need to mosey on back to 1987, when a little boy was introduced to earth.  This child grew wild and free where the wind sweeps down the plains.  Except scratch the "wild" part.  He was a bit of a safe man.  Very proper, respectful, disciplined, intentional, and formal.  Though he loved adventuring outside, hog-hunting, fort-building, machine-driving, height-climbing, animal-shooting, rock-moving, he certainly was not wild.  He was young and male, but he was… tame.  This tall, quite slim, calloused, muscular, bronzed, high-cheek-boned, cut-jaw-lined, blue-eyed boy played by the rules.  

His mother and father raised he and his 12 brothers and sisters on over 20 acres of land.  His father and mother poured their hearts and souls into their family.  His father and mother are hard workers - hard and loving workers.  His father and mother are generous, kind, strong and faithful.  

This young man, Caleb, was raised to respect and desire a wife and to nurture and raise his own children.  He was brought up eager to be a husband.  From a young age he prayed for his future family and worked hard to be in a position to provide for them (as he also learned by word and action that a man is to be the provider for his home.)  This diligent and ambitious family took an incredible risk and started their own construction business when Caleb graduated high school.  Father and his three sons took on the daunting task of running their own company - something none of them had ever done.  

In the early years of the family-run company, Caleb and his twin brother also set out to buy their own land and start building homes for their families - completely debt-free.  After years of saving, and in the middle of running their first company, the boys bought 50 acres between the two of them on neighboring plots of land.  Their determined, focused spirits put the pedal to the metal.  They'd rise before the sun to head to work, and after work they'd drive over to their land and clear trees, prep their foundation, pour concrete, assemble walls and build those houses (which is utterly impressive for 22 year old guys, if you ask me.)  

Their devotion to their task also made itself known in the music world.  Caleb and Daniel both play the piano, violin and viola.  Let me rephrase that: they both received university scholarships for their musical skill.  Ha! Can you imagine?  I actually can not imagine being so good at something! These scholarships were turned down so they could start their family business and build their homes (which, again, is utterly impressive for 20 year old guys, if you ask me!)

Handsome: check! Honorable: check! Hard-working: check! Smart, talented, adventurous, romantic and over six feet tall: check, check, check, check and cheeeeeck.  Single and available? Yes'sir.  Single and looking? Oh, you bet… for years Caleb was looking.  But in 23 years this sweet, gentle, quiet, hunky man had never had a girlfriend.  In fact, he'd never asked a girl out! Actually, he'd never even spoken to a girl on the phone, or been "alone" with a girl anywhere. 

This brings us to a very crucial and careful portion of the story.  Crucial, because the belief system I am about to share almost defined Caleb singularly (much like my past stories and hurts "made" me).  Careful, because I would never want to offend, judge or blame anybody in his life for "what he believed."  I'm simply telling the story of a boy, not preaching a Christian course on relationships.  Trust me.  

Caleb was homeschooled and brought up in an organization with very honorable, virtuous and impressive principles.  The organization, however, was created and the material written by a man who has a flawed view of "grace." If one were to take the time to read his personal papers (NOT his homeschool material or books, but his personal writings) one would find an interesting definition of grace.  He claims "grace is the desire and the power God gives us to do His will."  Strictly "dictionary definition" as well as biblical definition, that is just not what grace.  Grace is unconditional forgiveness, undeserved mercy, unmerited favor from a generous, extravagant, loving Father.  The definition of grace includes "He did" not "us do."  Grace is not about our performance, obedience or discipline.  A completely different discussion would be how God's grace gives us power to obey and desire for HIs will, but that is not grace itself.

 This conviction automatically (albeit subtly) works its way into the writings, meetings, principle's and teachings of this man's organization.  His grace worldview touches everything.  And to be honest, I think it's incredibly hard to not get swept up into the mindset, particularly when everyone you know and love believes the same thing.  That last sentence would be true for any belief system or organization!  If you are born into it, and know it, and everyone around you believes it, you'd be hard-pressed to disagree (though it certainly happens!)

While this particular organization has a great mission statement ("to support parents in raising their children to love the Lord Jesus Christ, reason wisely based on the principles of Scripture, have world-changing purpose in life, and give Biblical answers to the needs of our day") it seems to fall short in the day-in day-out application of unearned grace.  By nature, a wrong view of grace (and freedom and forgiveness and salvation) means many people work to achieve or earn or keep something by their own goodness that is not according to the Bible.

Many of these families adhere to certain "rules" for godliness, rules to obey "God's will," that are just not in the Bible. Rules like: women must wear skirts, parents must homeschool their children, families must not own or watch cable television, modern music and "drum beats" are sinful as they worship the devil, drinking alcohol is always sin for anybody, and a rigid, confusing courtship system.  

The dictionary definition of "courtship" is simply: A period during which a couple develop a romantic relationship, especially with a view to marriage.  But the courtship-program adhered to by many, I believe, well-meaning families is much more deranged.  Parents strongly limit male-female interaction (unless at large group events or family get-togethers or church/school events.)  A young boy needs to essentially see and maybe speak with (a handful of times) a girl and "seek the Lord" to find out if she is "the one" for him.  If he receives the mystical go-ahead from God, he can then call the girls father and ask permission to court his daughter.  From what I hear, fathers have a variety of responses: some decline a man right there, others tell the nervous lad to wait while the father prays about it and that he'll get back to him (in no definite time frame) and still others request to meet in person for a dad-boy date.  The dad-boy dates are supposed to be a time for the father and hopeful knight to get to know each other, build a relationship and learn about each other's beliefs.  These dates could last for weeks or even months.  Which you may say "Wait, isn't that what a guy is supposed to do with a girl?I" You have yourself a point there, you have yourself a point.  If the boy boy passed the father's inspection, he would be granted permission to take the girl out on a date (with a chaperone, of course.)  

If the boy didn't gain daddy's approval, however, he was shot down.  And the fair maiden daughter at home was left protected, safe and un-hurt thanks to her father's fortress and shield.  Her heart was not divied out in pieces to the men of this world, but was left whole - still waiting - for her one and only husband.  

It's hard for me to not launch into a rant about how deeply I disagree with this "model" of finding a life partner.  How, first of all, the father's assessments by no stretch of the imagination could conclude if the boy was a "strong leader" - all the assessments could conclude would be if the boy was a strong obeyer.  Father's set the rules, if the boy obeys and says yes to the right questions, he's in.  If he doesn't, however, he's toast.  Or how about the natural, good, lovely building of a friendship?  A REAL friendship?  Even the boys that ended up hurting me were my friends.  Very good friends.  Every single one of them talked with me, laughed with me, shared with me, made memories with me and had fun with me.  The friendships weren't separate from "feelings" but the friendships were real.  Or maybe we could talk about the fact that a father believes he has a better grasp on what his adult daughter needs in a life partner than she does, that God isn't able to lead her.  That she is just too young, unwise, swayed by emotions, fragile and hormonal to know who would really be a good for her.  Maybe the biggest one for me: how is man supposed to "hear from God" about a girl before he even knows her?  And then once he does "hear" that she is the one, what happens when the father turns him down?  Did the boy hear wrong?  Or did the father make a mistake?  I do believe that God can and sometimes does literally speak to a person about future life decisions, including who to marry.  But to place that kind of pressure on a man as a requirement to possibily take a girl on a group date… well, that's just too much.

That kind of thinking and approach was one Caleb was set on.  To be honest, his parents really did not even teach him that rigid courtship system, or believe it themselves!  Caleb just subconsciously applied what he was seeing around him as final truth.  had never asked out a girl because he had never heard that "she was the one."  So he was stuck, unable to ever really pursue a girl he liked.  He could try to talk with a girl at family events, and obviously stalk her Facebook or blog… but that was it. He often wondered "What will this 'hearing from God' look like? How will I know?"  With an underlying belief that if he blew this, he just might be blowing his favor with God, he treaded extremely carefully.  

His respectful, masculine, genuine, good-guy self garnered a whole lot of attention from the ladies, and he always had a slew of girls circling in his head he was keeping tabs on, but all of "that" led to barely any friendship and zero romantic relationship. 

Enjoy People | Graduating High School | Ellie

i said a prayer and fell asleep
i had a dream
priscilla ahn - dream

One of my first consistent baby-sitting jobs was for a sweet family with four little girls.  Their first born was fair-skinned, talkative nine-year-old named Ellie.  Nine year old Ellie loved to make me cards, and crafts, and signs, and mini-scrapbooks.  Every single time I went to baby-sit I was greeted with a gallery of art made specifically for me.  I loved these little girls.  Sometimes when they went to bed I'd stay up and make crafts for them to find in the morning (once I think I even made a whole "good morning" scavenger hunt with clues!)  

When I bought and began practicing with my darling Nikon D50, Ellie was curious.  She'd long gotten used to me bringing over a point-and-shoot to take pictures of our adventures, but this new black camera had won her affection.  She always wanted me to bring my big camera.  She asked many questions.  She posed for me.  One night as we crafted away (and I held the newest Berry baby - their fifth girl!) Ellie and I talked about working together someday in business. At the time I thought I was just being nice to a friendly little girl I really loved, but it's funny how God allows conversations like that to occur.  This past year Ellie has been my number one second-shooter.  She's just as friendly and eager as she was as a child, but now she's a lady.  She's a lady with a tender heart, daring plans and earned talent.  

I love working with her, knowing her and enjoying this dear friend God put into my world.  Ellie, thank you your friendship.  I really mean that.  And go have fun exploring the world with your black box, making brave decisions and living your life.  You're going to have a ball. 

Enjoy People | Married for A Long Time

"here’s no secret to our marriage, 
we just did what was needed for each other and our family."
mr. + mrs. fisher

Zelmyra, oh-so-lovely in pink, is 101 years old and Herbert, quite stylin' himself, is 104 and they have been married for almost 86 years. For atey sicks years.

I'm very aware of "marriage advice" these days.  Don't we all want to be Zelmyra and Herbert? I read this sweet article about them and just had to share.  This has to make you smile.

---
Is there anything you would do differently after more than 80 years of marriage?

We wouldn’t change a thing. There’s no secret to our marriage, we just did what was needed for each other and our family.

You got married very young – how did u both manage to grow as individuals yet not grow apart as a couple?

“Everyone who plants a seed and harvests the crop celebrates together.” We are individuals, but accomplish more together.

Does communicating get easier with time? 

The children are grown, so we talk more now. We can enjoy our time on the porch or our rocking chairs – together.

At the end of bad relationship day, what is the most important thing to remind yourselves?

Remember marriage is not a contest – never keep a score. God has put the two of you together on the same team to win.
---

I love their theme of "together."  Enjoy together. Celebrate together. Take care of your family together.  Rock on your porch together.

Noted, Mr. and Mrs. Fisher, noted.

Enjoy Writing | Oh My My My | Part 2

somewhere in the dark

were the sirens and the thunder

and around me as i swam

the drifters who'd gone under

josh ritter - change of time

for the very very very important part 1 of this story, click here.

… From sixteen to 21 I managed to accumulate some fascinating, heart-breaking, and hilarious dating stories.  This little part of the story is the one that is hard to know how to share.  I've always wondered how musicians and authors and poets go about sharing past events that had to do with other people.  I get the "writing about other people thing" (maybe in your journal or in lyrics to a song you sing in your bedroom) but it's the sharing those writings and stories that I always wondered about.  Let's be honest: if Adele had been singing songs about rivers and pretty trees she wouldn't be a 6-time grammy award winner.  She's talented as a musician, which includes her gut wrenching lyrics and raw honesty.  That's why we all love music! We connect because we somehow match the words to our real lives.  But what does the guy who hurt her think?  Is that awkward?  What is their story?  Did she hurt him too?  Was there some monumental miscommunication?  Was the break up strung out over months?  Or very abrupt? Did he lead her on the whole time?  Did he fall for someone else?  Did he go away to school and the distance ruined them?  Did he hear her song on the radio one day, with his wife in the car, and think "Hey, this is probably about me."? 

Regardless, I don't know exactly how I should or should not write about the people in those five years.  I certainly won't say much because I respect all of them far too much to blab about their personal lives on my personal blog.  What I do say will hardly scratch the surface (purposefully) and will not give you an accurate view of that window in my life.  But those years and people are part of the story.  They changed me, each of them.  And I'm not even just talking about guys I was interested in or dated when I say that.  I'm literally talking about the people.  People I care about, people who made decisions that forever altered my life, people who truly loved me, people who misunderstood me, people who were hurt by me, people who have given me the best stories of my life, people who forgave me and people I forgave.  People!  We know how it goes.  

Strictly "romantically," however, I came across it all:  the fascinating adventurer, the highschool sweetheart, the brother's of my girl friends, the Bible college student, the complete player and liar, the uncommitted drifter, the terrified runner, the car-accident-date militant, the well-intentioned but came off way too strong, and the very misunderstood.  This makes it sound like I was going on dates twice a week for a lustrum.  Not at all. Really ;) 

But over six years a lot happened, and all of it was building up to something more.  From my Jason Reeves "There's too many questions and too many reasons not to try" stage, to my Taylor Swift "It's too late for you and your white horse to come around" stage, to my Coldplay "It's such a shame for us to part. Nobody said it was easy, no one ever said it would be this hard" stage to my Carrie Underwood Cowboy Casanova "Don't even look in his eyes, he'll tell you nothing but lies" stage.There was a Keith Urban "I guess to build yourself up so high, you had to take her and break her down" time, a Matt Costa "I don't expect you to admit that you were wrong" time, a Dave Barnes "what began with such a promise, ended with such a twist" time and a Taylor Swift "He can't see the smile I'm faking cause I'm not feeling anything at all" time.  Then we had the Rudyard Kipling "You lose, and start again at your beginnings, and never breath a word about your loss" season, the Bette Midler "It's the heart afraid of breaking, that never learns to dance, the dream afraid of waking that never takes a chance" period and  the Beyonce "Remember those walls I built? Well baby they're tumbling down" era.

This "relationships" life of mine has really been quite odd, shockingly silly, very good and definitely sad.  If I'm being perfectly honest, by fall 2010 I was burnt out.  I was really, really done. The part of the girl that so desires safety, protection and closeness was feeling very safe locked up, behind stonewalls, protected in a little enclosed space.  Of course the part of a girl that longs for companionship, strength and…well…being loved… was feeling depleted and quite unsure if all the latter was worth leaving my recreation of the former.  How do people do this?  I haven't even gone through much compared to so many others.  How come no one warns you that you are capable of hurting so badly?  How will I ever find a man who isn't lying to me, who I'm attracted to, who has similar convictions as me, is single and actually is interested in me BACK?! I think this is just going to be too hard… I'd almost rather not do it at all.  Being reminded I was still "so young" never really helped.  Even 20 year olds can be very scared, intimidated and bruised.  On a side note, please don't mistake my story-telling right here to somehow give you the impression that I'm complaining or that I didn't have a wonderful, fruitful and delightful late teenage and early adult season.  It was wonderful. Not only was work, church, travel, exploring, learning and discovering a true joy, so were my friendships and relationships, even the ones that turned sour or don't exist anymore.  I cherish each and every one of them and consider all these things, even - no, especially! - the hard things, to be very very good. A difficult sort of good.  The good like a painstaking, quit-tempting, tedious making of a puff pastry instead of my childhood, which was handed a dessert and ate it without thinking once about where it came from.  I learned how to live in those five years. Because truthfully other songs and lyrics ran through my head too.  Not just my main girl T-Swizzle ;)

"I searched for love but when the night came and it closed in I was alone. You give and take away, You give and take away. I surrender all.  Be still, my soul: when dearest friends depart, and all is darkened in the vale of tears. You cry yourself to sleep because the hurt is real and the pain cuts deep. My heart will choose to say, 'Blessed be Your name.'  With heartache your closest friend you've had to face the music on your own, but there is a sweeter song that calls you home. I shall better know His love, His heart, who comes to soothe my sorrow and fears.  Blessed be the name of the Lord.  I will bring praise. Blessed be Your name. I will bring praise. I will rejoice, I will declare 'God is my Victory and He is here.'  You found me where I was hiding, it was the sweetest Voice that called my name saying 'You're not alone for I am here.'  I’ll never, no never, no never forsake. Be still, my soul: your Jesus can repay from His own fullness all He took away. Blessed be the name of the Lord."

This brings us to October 2010, where you would have met a new apartment-renter living alone for the first time, full of work, travel and ministry ambition, ready to take a break from even "talking" to guys until 2014… (to be continued)

Enjoy Writing | Oh My My My | Part 1

i had a dream last night,

i dreamt that i was swimming

and the stars up above,

directionless and drifting

change of time - josh ritter

On October 31, 2005, after a fun, flirty and busy night at a church harvest festival (we all know that church's don't celebrate Halloween!) I came home and rolled up into the corner of our couch. "I'll get up in a minute… Just a minute…" and I promptly fell sound asleep for the night. I fell asleep and dreamed the most memorable and emotional dream I've dreamt thus far. The dream was a delicate and heart-throbbing story about myself and a tall boy named Brian. In my real life I did not know this "Brian" I was dreaming of, he was a fictional character in my head, a combination of my imagination and David Beckham. Brian was tall, tan, slow-moving and kind, simple and precious, quiet and a little shy, fiercely loyal and undeniably smitten with me. The dream had this blurry, water color, sun-in-your-eyes, water splashing, nighttime shadows quality. I'd see flashes of Brian, I'd hear conversations we were having, I'd watch the two of us walking side-by-side and then we'd vanish, I'd see "through my eyes" until purple light blurred my sight and I'd also observe myself from afar - and this all occurred in no concrete setting, just rolling, abstract dream gloss. Sounds echoed as my relationship with Brian spun through my dream. "I do like you, Brian. I really do. I just… don't want to hurt you. Or I don't want you to think I ever led you on." "I know you aren't leading me on," he'd offer, as casually as one might order a milkshake. "I mean, if… If it…if this didn't… if maybe we weren't right for each other in the end?" "Well, that's the risk I took, the risk with a prize far sweeter than penalty bitter." "I'm so confused, though. I don't know where I'm at, or how I'm feeling. And I know you like me a whole lot. And I'm scared." "Take your time," Brian, at this point, was looking right at me and smiling, "Don't worry. You really can take your time. I know you'll come around. I just know it. I'll race you to the car!" The dream continued "through my eyes" and I remember just looking at him, wondering how he could be so calm. I was unnaturally fearful (at least I assumed this was not a natural part of dating) and I was a quivery, unsure wreck. How could he just sit there, gentle and unworried, steady and handsome? I had no concept of time as my doubts and his reassurances continued. Was this a big long conversation? Did this happen over several days? Several months? I did not know.

Much like the closing of one movie scene to the entrance of another, the chatter quieted and the "screen" went black. The next scene transitioned to a bright and sunny land! There were cheery tall green trees all around, and water thumping in the background. A small red and white boat was tied to a wooden dock and it bumbled up and down in the easy movement of the lake. Or shore. Or riverside. Or whatever it was we were near. Brian was walking ahead of me, in a white shirt, and we were walking through the woods, following a path that led us down to the water. I could draw you the picture right now. Brian and I to the right, tall trees to the left and front, small window of water and sunshine greeting us in dead center, about 100 feet ahead of us. This was the first scene in my dream that was concrete, a real place that could be in our everyday world. Though I'd never personally visited this place before, it was finally a real place! No more hypnotic sludge!

And then it happened. That marvelous, mysterious, enchanting, famous it. I just knew. I knew. I knew. I didn't not know. I was clear. I was sure. I knew. I loved him. I loved him! I knew "where I was at." I knew "how I felt."  I knew. The mind that had tangled together the bow on his gift finally opened the box! "Ah-ha! This is what he's been talking about! He's known along!" The heart that was analytical and concerned had stormed out of her cubicle, un-knotted her bun, and was now running barefooted out the glass swirly-doors to a world of opportunity. "This is why he waited! This freedom and confidence and desire is what everyone has been talking about!" The person that was too afraid to feast for fear of never eating again, was too afraid to play because I might have to go inside at the end of the night, was too afraid to knit together what might have to be torn apart was now passionately fearless. I loved him.

As I dreamt on, I marveled at what had come over me at the peak of that path in the woods. My arms had become more like my waving hair, and the hairs on my neck had turned into outstretched arms, and my eyes finally took the place of my heart as I could now see, and my heart substituted with my stomach, because my stomach had a sleepover with my toes (and the tip of my nose). It rained inside me. It rained and rained on down. When the drops hit the bottom of me, they splashed back up into giant, warm waves. I felt like a jungle and a painting and circus and a queen. Loving him sent me to Mercury, with a pit stop to a lazy Sunday afternoon nap in a Georgia porch swing. Simultaneously still and wild, here and there, dizzy and yet finally thinking straight. I knew I had fallen for him long before this moment. I knew he had become "the one" through his patience, his reassurance, his confidence, his persuit. He had done nothing in that moment in the trees, just before the waterside, to win my affection (he was simply walking ahead of me, stepping over a log) but somehow it all came crashing down on me in such an overwhelming, instant and surprising manner.

Then I woke up. I immediately knew I had been dreaming. I slammed my eyelids shut and repeated my thoughts to myself over and over again. "Go back to sleep! GO baaack to sleep. You were only awake for a second. I know I love him. I didn't even get to say goodbye!" It didn't work. I lay there on the red and green plaid couch, feelings still alive and well in my body, tears tracing my eyes. You may think I'm being a touch melodramatic in my description. You might have that "Gross! I'm eating! This is not toothache sweet: it's cavity sweet. You're just a cheesy romantic with no concept of the real world" feeling. I tell you the truth: This dream was every bit as overpowering, emotional and sensational as I've described, probably more, in fact. I cried that November 1 morning because I missed Brian. I felt like someone had died. My insides throbbed. It was one of the strangest and rarest experiences of my life, and I was just 16. It remains one of the oddest and most thrilling moments I can remember. It was eerie and truly too emotional for what it was.

I wrote the dream down and I noted that I was certain I would have a "moment" with that sort of clarity whenever I met the one for me. I had a gut feeling that I would have a specific time I would say "Yes, this is when I knew I loved him." Over the years I made mention of the dream to only a select few people. My ears always perked when I met a "Brian" - in a bridal party, at Starbucks, at a church meeting. But for the most part I didn't think of the dream in my daily life. But when it came to mind it was always as vivid and clear as the moment I dreamt it… (to be continued)

Enjoy Pinterest | Pearls

"a girl should be two things: classy and fabulous."

coco chanel

I have a little confession to make about pearls, the renown "classy" jewel.  I think it's a little matronly or a little cheap. Ah! I said it.  While I do love pearls, it seems like I often see a cheap ad with a girl in an awful dress with BRIGHT white "pearls" (probably bought from a local Claire's or something) or I see Grandma in the grocery story with a lovely string of pearls and it's precious... but... not... exactly... modern? That's the point I'm trying to make: pearls are classy, pearls are lovely, but I don't find them modern.

So for PinThursday and in effort to give this jewel a chance, I did some searching for pretty, modern uses for the pearl!  Every girl needs a good pair of pearl earrings (I have some!) but I love this glam-edition of the pearl earring.  Gorgeous.

from j. crew

Now HERE is a perfect example of a pearl being used in a modern setting.  Well done, J. Crew, well done as always.

from j. crew

I can't find where these shoes are originally from (help?) but I would also consider these highly fashion-forward, feminine and modern. Love them.

from capsitios

I'm not impressed with the chain and ribbon on this coin purse, but I love the different sized pearls!  I would not only use this, but I would brag about it if it were mine ;)

I'm curious how this would lay on a normal girl (aka: not a model or mannequin!) but I think it's wonderfully creative and fun.  I'd love to find some coral pumps and extra black eye-liner to wear with this!

from rachel gilbert

Black pearls, I'm convinced, are never ever matronly OR cheesy!  It's on my dream list to own one of these bad boys someday:

from zales

For the record: I DO find real pearl necklaces stunning.  I do.  I just think I've seen it done wrong too many times that it makes me leery ;) It's like saying "I don't like strapless dresses." Well, I like some strapless dresses! On the right body! With the right fit! But man, a bad strapless dress? It's baaaad. I hope that makes sense!  Show me some of YOUR pearl-loves on the EnjoyProject board! Do it to it!

PINTHURSDAY RULES:1] I created a group board called "Enjoy Project"... follow it!

2] Every Thursday I will blog about a particular topic (today, for example, is pencils.)

3] Leave a comment with your Pinterest name and I will add you as a contributor to the group board.  Also leave a link to your favorite/rad find for the theme.  (So leave a link to some awesome pencils - colored pencils, mechanical pencils, etsy pencils, skies the limit!)

4] Once you are added to the group, you can pin your find right to the page.  If you would like to contribute to the group, but do NOT want to be an official contributor, leave your Pinterest name and link and I'll post your find myself, with credit for the find to you.

5] We'll collect ideas together! Sitting all alone on your computer, scrolling through pages and pages, waiting for pins to fetch, is very isolated ;) This way we can interact together! And get to know one another.

6] Once a pin is in the group you can (obviously) re-pin to a different board if you'd like more organization for yourself.

7] Be kind, have fun and enjoy one another, please and thank yaaaa.8] When pinning on this board, use the #enjoyproject hashtag! It will make it ever easier to find when we have more and more posts.9] My goal is to have the board available to the current topic for one week.  So you have from Thursday-Wednesday to post pencils! Then Thursday-Wednesday to post _______. (I'm not giving away next weeks topic just yet ;) haha).10] Enjoy yourself. And the ideas. And the other people. 

Alright! You ready? Go pin!

Enjoy Weddings | Josh + Samantha | Strong Mansion

“happiness quite unshared can scarcely be called happiness; 
it has no taste.” 
charlotte brontë

Rain barged into Maryland last September.  Day in, day out, the rain sang on our rooftops and waltzed through our streets.  It was the wettest September I can recall.  September 17, however, was quite still.  Moody, but still.

In an old house in Paris covered in vines, er, in Dickerson covered in moss, were twelve (or so) girls getting primped and glossed. (Well done?)

The wedding festivities began at the front gate of Strong Mansion - lovely mossed initials of the bride and groom.

Inside the stately chateau are the ever tasteful and clean rooms.  Room after room after room.  It doesn't matter how often I shoot at Strong Mansion, I never tire of the rooms.

In a sparked minute, the stillness was gone as my sweet Samantha echoed from the doorway up to the third floor.  She is an animated, excitable, loud, dear little miss.

As soon as she arrived their was a different feel to the muggy and quite grey day.  

"AH! I have to write Josh's letter! Am I the worst bride in the world? Other people do this, right?" I laughed and nodded. "Ohhhhh-fshoooo! Hahaha! Ah! Okay! I need to focus!"  Samantha scribbled away.

I can hear her saying that:

After her letter was all finished and sealed with love, Pretty Miss eagerly donned her favorite dress. "I love my dress. It's my favorite dress.  Oh I can't wait to put it on!"

As happy as Sam was to wear that gown, the next minutes only grew happier.  She read Joshua's letter for her.

She high-fived and loved seeing her father.


She fiddled and adorned, in all her animated goodness ;)

Now, all that fun and happiness nearly overwhelmed Pretty Miss.  In a moment of a planner-girls heart sink, Samantha realized she forget to bring the video tutorial on tying her sash for the bridesmaids to follow.  Samantha is, again, very opposite of me in gifting (it's a trend.  I'm serious.) as she is extremely detailed-oriented, efficient, on the ball and planned.  After two or three attempts at tying the sash it wasn't working right, time was ticking down for the ceremony to start, "How could I forget to bring the video!", I stepped out of the room so that the constant clicking and extra body wouldn't raise the stress.  I peered back in to find Samantha taking deep breaths into the mirror repeating "It is oooookay! Alright! It is ooookay!" It made me laugh so much inside.  I love this big personality of a woman.  

Within seconds she was back to her carefree, thrilled and riotous self. 

With no time to spare we glided down the stunning wooden staircase and readied ourselves for the joyous ceremony.

I've mentioned it time and again, but Strong Mansion's grounds will forever be my favorite.  Not only did I shoot my very first wedding here (which spoiled me!) but I also went on my first date with MisterMister here ;)  I don't think you are technically supposed to do that, but, hey, who isn't drawn to a man who sneaks you onto the grounds of your favorite mountainside mansion for a sunset picnic!  There is a whole funny story that goes along with that first date that includes Park Police and beef.  Maybe I'll tell it sometime ;) Also, my house-mates, Dre and Becca, had their wedding reception here!  It's just THE most special place!

Samantha unshockingly had plans up her sleeve for the ceremony.  Strong Mansion does not have a center aisle because there is a beautiful lilly pond in the way ;)  Guests sit on either side of the pond.  Most brides I've seen have walked on the outskirts of the guests and made their way to the middle at the altar.  Wellllll, Samantha decided to have some wow-factor by coming behind the altar and emerging through the woods!  

After some deep breaths and reassuring thoughts from her father, she was ready to become a wife.

(Can you see up there ^ the ceremony site?  The groom and the pastor have their back to Samantha and her dad.  They are facing the lily pond and the mansion.  I hope you can visualize that haha!)

When Samantha's musical que arrived, in typical wedding magic fashion, the sun burst out from the clouds.  Colorful guests rose, Joshua waited happily.

Dad held his emotions together (just wait to see when he lost it, however.  Good luck not crying yourself!)

Thanks to the beautiful lily pond I also can't shoot in the middle of an aisle like I'm used to.  It makes for a fun challenge - I hike through stone walls and mossy trees, and tip-toe along waterside, I pull out new lenses, it's great fun!

Instead of having a unity candle or sand ceremony, Josh and Same had a tree-planting ceremony!  They poured dirt into a potted evergreen and the mothers watered it.  I love the originality!

Mmmmmyea.

After the ceremony (which, I know there weren't many pictures of BUT did you notice anything different about this post?  I decided to post only horizontal images! If I didn't shoot the image horizontal, I'm not posting it.  Sometimes you have to mix-it up with a wedding post!) the guests enjoyed a classy cocktail hour and reception.

My favorite piece of advice:

At every wedding the Strong Mansion staff sets up a table for the late Mr. and Mrs. Strong.  It's very honorable and ethereal at the same time and I love it.

My favorite part of this photo? The little lady with her fairy wand and crown of flowers.  Adorable.

It always seems appropriate to rave about the newlyweds during their portrait session.

Joshua, in five words: Young at heart, sincere, loyal
Samantha in five words: Contagiously happy, goofy, organized, vivacious 

They're constantly affirming each other: to each other's face, behind their backs, in their writing and e-mails and phone calls.  I use the word "constant" very carefully, but I do mean it.  In maybe 12-15 hours spent in person with them, and another dozens or so e-mails and phone calls, they literally don't go ten minutes without speaking highly of each other.  

They are romantic.  Which, I need to pause here for a moment, and comment on.  "Romance" to every girl and guy is going to be different.  Some truly find an expensive dinner and roses deliciously romantic.  Others, however, would find that a complete waste and awfully cheesy.  Some would find a handmade card or gift dear and precious, while others might find it lame and half-hearted.  One thing I've learned is that outward, consistent, distracting (almost), blatant, and public displays of romance are met with strong opinions from those observing.  Folks either love it or HATE it.  "Ew. Get a room.  Are they seriously doing that here?" or "That is adorable, and true love.  How refreshing to see a couple unashamedly affectionate!"  Most people would expect and even desire to see affection and goofy touchiness and smirky giggles at a wedding.  We clink our glasses and jeer and want more! We just don't want it in normal life, please.  I'm proud to say of Samantha and Joshua: who they were on their wedding day, close, silly, smiley, "cheesy", alive, tender, attentive, together and smitten is who they are in real life.  And I love it. I love that they are unashamed of each other. 

They make a scene wherever they go: they are truly a riot.  I saw a good ol' Pinterest pin that describes them well: "I'm probably going to fall in love with you if:
- you don't realize how good looking you are,
- you employ old fashioned terms of endearment,
- you do not bat an eye when I spontaneously launch into a different voice or accent in the middle of a sentence,
- you smell like something incredible from my childhood,
- you have enormous dreams,
- you distract me from my 'real' life,
- you know how to listen,
- you are self-deprecating but it comes across as funny, not uncomfortable,
- we can't stop laughing around each other
- and you fall in love with me a little."

I love incredible them.  They are quite dreamy.

We just flash-forwarded a bit, but remember how I warned about Dad "losing it"? Settle down with your pretzals and water bottle for this one (or am I the only one that has a "blog-reading" snack?)  It's toast time in the wonderful world of Josh and Sam's wedding day! Toasts are great, right? See? The bride and groom are happy and great.

Samantha's dad take a minute to thank, honor and barely tease Josh.

Everything is meaningful, everything is great.

Dad teases a bit harder.

Oh ha-ha-haa! Everything is silly, everything is great. 

Josh and his new father-in-law give each other a masculine ol' slap on the back - they respect each other greatly.

And now Dad has a few words to say about Samantha.  He starts to cry.  Ah! Quick! No! Don't cry! Daaaaaad! Samantha rushes to the rescue.

Okay! Smiles! We're good.

We're laughing.  We're not emotional! We're ready.

Fantastic. Carry on!

Oh wait, Dad. Don't lose it! Come back to us!

Nevermind.

Let it rain, let it pour. You're rolling in the deep.  And he hasn't even started sharing what he would like to.

Hup-hup-hup-huuuup's, eye-dabbing guests, sniffles and sighs ensue.

Maybe even some blubbering.

Dad tried again.

After fairly little progress (and some genuinely loving sentences) Dad and Samantha call it quits.

Cheers!

*clink* *clink* *clink* *clink*

I adore this picture.

To life, laughter and love...

... cheers! Happy marriage, Josh and Samantha! I love you!

Enjoy Project | Making Gift Boxes

success is fickle, but creativity is a gift.

tommy shaw

Haaallloooo friends near and far!  Though today's project was technically a Valentines gift, I cannot wait to use the idea again on client packages, birthday presents, baby shower gifts, and more!  Wouldn't it be fun to write out a new baby's name?  Or a couples' initials?  Or one word you think just "fits" the occasion? I'll answer that: Yes, it'd be fun. You can obviously use as many or as few boxes as you need, for any occasion under the sun!  Heck, you can make one and send it to me for no darn'tootin reason at all! BECAUSE FUN IS ALWAYS FUN, not just on special holidays.  A'right.  Let's get it on like Donkey Kong.  To start with you need to print out letters and cut them out very, very carefully.  

Next, you tape the letters onto your gift boxes (I bought 50 square boxes online... You can pretty much get these anywhere).  I used painters tape (the blue or green kind) so that it would be easy to pull the letters off and they wouldn't rip or shred the boxes. Press the corners down hard!

And then spraaaaay awaaaaay!  This literally took 11 seconds.  So easy.  If you wanted to tape along the sides of the boxes with painters tape, I'm sure that would look beautiful.  I didn't because I'm lazy and dumb.  

After the spray paint has dried for 15 minutes or so, peel the letters off!  And wa-la!  I used chalkboard spray paint... but I think you can use whatever kind you want.  I think?  I didn't try.  Because I'm lazy and it was really cold outside.  

This part of the project is a take-it-or-leave-it part ;)  I wrote a word with a chalk pen (the kind they use at Starbucks or for menu boards at restaurants) that described my man starting with the letter on the box.  Inside the box was a little gift that went along with that word.  Somehow it really wasn't complicated... it seems trickier now that I'm typing it!

To contrast the dark and simple exterior, I wanted the insides of the boxes to be like exploding fireworks in a dark moonlit night! (Too much...? Yeah.)

Okay, so one of his "O" words outside the box was "Oh-so-kind!" (which is fully cheating, but YOU try to come up with a word starting with O that describes kindness!). Octopus on the oven (I'm trying to set a world record for "O" usage in a paragraph.  Oliver.)  Inside the "Oh-so-kind!" box was his favorite candy bars, so he'll "Stay Sweet!" Candy is sweet, sweet is kind, I'm kind and give him candy - it really all works so well. Oprah is at the opera in Oklahoma.

I filled these boxes up by paying next to nothing.  Many of the items were either free treats in my gift box at Alt Summit (like the black SquareSpace beanie, canned Izze, and other items) or were bought using gift cards from Alt Summit (I got a free $20 gift card to PinHole Press just for attending their mini-party!) He also got a wooden pocket knife with his name engraved on it that I bought in Park City during the Sundance Festival for $9.  Add some ever necessary mints and gum (come on, we ARE dating after all), cheap disposable cameras for a new date-night activity and a hand-written letter, and he really had it pretty good!  Even though his girlfriend is a cheapskate ;) (He instagrammed all of his goodies if you want to see)

(I was pretty proud of my other O word: over-the-top.  He is one of those people who has to go above and beyond in everything he does, he's not satisfied unless an idea is the very very best it can be.  Basically, he's a perfectionist to the core.  So his gift inside "over the top" was a blank PinHole Press notepad where I encouraged him "to stay dreaming!" I love all of his grand, nearly-impossible dreams.)

Turned out better then I expected!

To make sure the boxes didn't empty themselves during transportation (a friend hid them for me in his basement apartment), I tied these babies up with peach string!  Which was two tons of total fun in and of itself.

Fun, huh? :)

Enjoy Writing | My Mama Bear

"i wish nothing but the best for you."
adele


Two years ago I wrote this post for a Breast Cancer Fundraiser:


"One a foggy nearly winter morning in 2003, my parents gathered all of their children in the family room and told us they had something to tell us.  

Mom had breast cancer.   

That conversation started an unforgettable and life-changing year for me.  That night I practically bled tears as I laid in bed, trying to sleep and eventually I snuck into my mom's room and slept next to her bed on the floor.  I was scared.  But there is nothing like being loved by your church, neighborhood and even complete strangers.  By the help of literally hundreds, my dad, my six younger siblings and I were fed, carpooled, hosted, given clean clothes, had Christmas gifts wrapped, and adventures had while my mother battled cancer.   What a fighter.  Watching her faith gave me faith.  She was peaceful, hopeful and strong.  She made us laugh when she lost her hair (hardest moment of my life when I came home from school and saw her bald, sleeping head) by buying and wearing a colorful clown wig.  She never let us worry.  She lived out her marvelous hope in God.

But I think the hardest part for her wasn't the chemo, or the surgeries, or the recovery, or the steroids… it was missing our lives.  At the time she had a one-year-old, two-year-old and four-year-old who she couldn't snuggle with at night.  That killed her.  Her babies were growing up and they had to spend most their time with someone else.  And that's when I first got serious about photography.  I took pictures of those kids so she could remember them during that year.  Rolls and rolls and rolls of film simply telling of the story of little Michael, Shannon and Lauren.   All of the wonderful women who came to help us always let me show them my "favorite" pictures and they were oh-so encouraging and supportive.  And one dear girl offered to let me shoot at her wedding that upcoming summer.  And that's how it allllll began.   

My photography business is so closely tied to my mom's breast cancer." <-- This original post I wrote ended with the following lines: "Mom is thankfully in remission and is as healthy as a peach.  Praise God!  But I wanted to be a part of this fundraiser for any daughter who ever has or ever will watch their mom experience cancer.  As hard as it is, there is so much hope.  And God can do unimaginably wonderful things through such trying times. " 


Today, however, a few of those lines are no longer true.  It has not changed that there IS hope.  God still does unimaginably wonderful (and even beautiful) things through hard times.  But, as much as it completely stinks to say it, mom is no longer in remission or "as healthy as a peach."  The last few days have revealed that her shortness of breath the last few months were caused by a collapsed lung, and her lung was collapsed because of cancer on it.  

I believe in a Miracle Worker, a Healer, a Sustainer, an All-Powerful Creator, a Tender Father, a Good King, a Sweet Shepard, a Friend Who Weeps, and a Warrior Who Fights for His people, and He lives in His Heavenly Home, which just so happens to be my home, too, thanks to His personal invitation and love for me.  He is all I need, and all my mother needs, and all we all need.  But, He Himself has wept with grief, because sometimes life does just hurt. 

 I'll be here in Florida somewhat indefinitely to help take care of my mama bear.  I brought her some ballin' pink and blue monster-face socks. I knoooow, I knoooow, I'm a really great daughter ;)  I don't want to turn this blog a sob-story or whine-fest... but, this is about my life and there is much about my life as creative artist/photographer directly linked my mom.  And mostly I just love her with all my heart, and it's hard not to write about what your heart loves the most.  Prayers would be most appreciated, for my dad who is a sleepless Mr. Mom these days, Mama Bear and her lung (no more collapsing, please!), all seven of us kids... especially the little guys (they are too young to remember going through this the first time and it's still a bit overwhelming) and for the medical staff (may they be smart, kind and maybe even funny! We all dearly love to laugh!) You better believe I'm completely enjoying every and any little thing that finds itself in our day: the little old man with the deep accent where I bought a salad, laughing at Mad About You on my laptop together, giving and getting back scratches, reading the homemade cards from the little kids, coughs (coughing is a good sign, the Doc says, so we want lots and lots of coughs!), the Florida sunset through the hospital room window, making fun of mom's sweet but slightly dumb nurses ("I mean, I'd love to have her over our to our house for dinner!  She just forgot to bring my medicine for the third time."), worship music on in the background and just alone time with my mom.  Thanks for listening!

Enjoy Project | Nick + Whitney | The Oaks Wedding

i was thirsty so i drank,

and there was something 'bout the way

it tasted so familiar

time, love.

time, love.

change of time | josh ritter

Training for a marathon.  Building a new house.  Commuting three hours every day.  Planning a wedding.  Traveling.  Running a family business.  These topics are childs' play for Nick and Whitney. 

If there has ever been a motivated, capable, hands-full yet thriving in the busy-ness, completing the details, fulfilling the phrase "live your life!" couple who could handle all these things at once, it has to be Nick and Whitney.

Whitney is one of the most fascinating people I have ever met, because she has to be one of the most opposite of "me" I've ever come across.  She's like a Jamie Delaine or something ;)  I seem to thrive off of people who aren't like me.  I love Whitney's OCD administrative skills, her ability to plan and manage schedules, her impeccable and careful attention to the little things, her grand dreams accompanied with specific steps on how to get there.  Now, if I just told you that you might think "eh, she sounds boring."  But let me assure you: boring she is not!  She is FULL of personality.  This crazy brilliant system she has going works, because she is living life, man.  I'm telling ya.  She has FUN.

Here is a classic Whitney picture:  three pairs of back-up shoes.  All color-coordinated, all ready and in their place, all perfect.  I would have probably NEVER thought to buy back-up sandals and rainboots in case of rain!  But not only was her idea smart and reassuring, it was super cute!

She's really just "on it."  She's there for you.  She's got it taken care of.  She has an idea? Boom. Done. Ordered. Printed. Next idea? Let's do it. Boom. Spread sheet. Done.  She makes things happen, and she works hard.  I really wish I had more of "that" in me.  Sometimes dreamers can really be the most lazy people... we need more people of action in this world!  And Whitney is most certainly a dreamer in action.

I can't tell you how many e-mails I got from her with galleries for wedding inspiration, floral ideas, color schemes and general information.  She wanted me to be up to date, involved and really a part of her day.  I loved those e-mails.  

Her heart and soul were in this event.  Now, some may say "If you focus too much on your wedding, you aren't making your marriage the priority!"  Trust me, I understand the sentiment, I get what that phrase is referring to.  But I must say, oftentimes a persons extreme focus on the wedding is a reflection of their gigantic hearts.  Their hearts for their families, friends, parents and spouse.  Whitney wanted this day to be perfect for everyone.  She wanted everyone (who drove ALL the way across the bay bridge ;) haha) to be showered upon with memories and celebration.  She was no casual "eh, I don't care, whatever" participant in this day.  She was engaged in every element, and when wedding day came around, it was so personal, emotional and meaningful.  It's the difference between a Stouffer's frozen lasagna and a homemade, hand-made pasta, slow-cooked sauce, fresh baked lasagna.  The person who puts hours of time into the lasagna doesn't "care more about the meal than the family."  No, no... it's BECAUSE she cares for the family she desires to give them the best meal!  That is how Whitney is.  

Ashley, Whitney's sister, got married at Glen Echo Park.  If you've been around for a while, you'll know that Glen Echo Park is one of my most cherished venues.  I ADORE GLEN ECHO.  Well, besides Glen Echo I have a running list of venues that I want to shoot at in my general area.  Leave it to these sisters to choose perfect locations ;) because The Oaks was on the Dream List of mine.  I actually jumped off my chair when I read Whitney's e-mail telling me the good news ;) Isn't this place perfect? 

Love. her. ring.

This feels like a very Lydia Jane shot to me ;)

I have to say, I'm very 50/50 on the whole first look thing.  As a photographer I adore it - who doesn't want more uninterrupted time with your couple?  There are few things I enjoy more then pleeeeeenty of time to shoot!  And there is the sweetness of a moment with nobody else around.  It's like being proposed to in public vs. private.  However, the other side of me - the girly side! - can't help but love the traditional, chilling, gasping, musical entrance with a fatherly pass-off.  I know you STILL get to have that when you did a first look, but I don't know... their is something about the idea and legacy of that ritual that I love.  All that said, I don't have much of a preference with what couples would like to do.  I can offer suggestions, especially as the photographer.  I do like more time!  But I'm going to be bold here and let you in on something: first looks are REALLY awkward sometimes.  "Honey, it's just you and me... and strangers recording our every move, hoping for us to cry or kiss passionately... or something."  Maybe Jasmine Star has some magic trick she does to make all her first-looks go flawlessy, but I sure didn't learn that in the workshop! So we arrive at Nick and Whitney's first look.  Truth be told, it was beautiful.  Honestly.  If I could be guaranteed to have a first look be so special, happy and gorgeous, I just might do it myself.

After their happy, normal (aka: not awkward!) and relaxing first look, we tooook ooooour luuuxurious time doing portraits!

We had a lot of grounds to cover at The Oaks... especially since Whitney knew that place like the back of her hand!

This looks so New England-y to me!  <3

Oh Kyle and Ashley.  We were created to be friends.  I've been back to their house for dinner a couple times, they were one of the very first to meet my boyfriend (who wasn't my boyfriend at the time!) and we even spent Fourth of July together this year.  I miss you guys!

After all the group pictures were finished, the photog crew and the almost-weds drove down the road to a sweet little bay town.  I love the rush of taking photos in a busy place, seeing everyone stare at us as we walk down the road, marching through crowds making no eye contact, being all "Ye-ah. YE-ah. What?"  It's very glamorous.

(It's also a fun challenge to make it appear like there were not many people around.  This streets were not empty, my friends!)

Now we arrive at the wedding climax, the great build-up, the part where the tension peaks.  Our vehicle full of media crew and talk-of-the-town couple pulled back onto The Oaks property about 20 minutes before the ceremony was scheduled to start.  While we were gone the storm radar took a turn for the worst, and the grassy, waterfront wedding under the giant oak trees seemed to be a precarious option.  While we were out, however, none of us answered our phones (or felt them ringing for that matter.)  With the bride and groom gone and rain approaching, they wedding team made a game-time decision to move everything under the covered dock.  

It's not that this option wasn't a perfectly wonderful location, or that Whitney wouldn't have even made that decision herself, it was just a little confusing to drive up and see half the chairs in the grassy location, the other half on the dock, speakers being moved, floral arrangements being transported across the lawn. What on EARTH was going on?!

That sliver of just a few minutes gave me a front seat view of Whitney and Nick's relationship.  I haven't described Nick much to you thus far.  All that I've said about Whitney is true - and I could say much more!  I truly LOVE her, and I LOVED shooting HER wedding because I SO love HER.  But I have to hand it to him, Nick is one quality man.  In all this commotion, and in the mounting stress, there was nothing I could say to relieve Whitney, nothing her sister or mother or girlfriends or wedding coordinator could do.  She wasn't going ballistic or anything, in fact, she was remarkably calm!  But you could tell her sweet, planners heart was racing a bit.  And Nick was the only one who could help.  "I understand how you're feeling.  I've talked to _______, _______ and ________. The change is being made.  We will be getting married on the dock.  It will be beautiful and I personally will make sure it is exactly like we talked about for the Plan B."  Whitney visibly calmed.  "Do not worry, Whit.  I've got this under control.  You finish getting touched up and I'll see you in just a few minutes."  And like *that* she had not a care in the world.  And that right there, ladies and gentlemen, is a man.

Patient, calm, gentle and also bold, "fix-it" and decisive.  Manly!

I really am glad that the weather looked like it was going to be bad, because I loved how personal and unique the dock ceremony was.  Though it never rained, I think it was just a little special touch to the wedding to have it over the water ;)

One mis-step and I would have been Kristen Phelps, the swimming photographer!

I love all the things children do to get through a ceremony ;)

After promises, pledges, surprises, and I-do's, Nick took just another situation on this wedding day into his own hands! Ow ow!

Yayayayayyayay!

The reception had Whitney-love glazed all over it.  From her perfect flowers and darling cake...

... to the nautical feeling shutters...

... to an album about Nick and Whitney's home that built together, or "The Home That Built Them"...

... to her creative table names!  At their engagement shoot Whitney brought props and we spent an extra hour taking photos for the table "numbers."  Each table was named after a vital part of making a relationship work.  They took a silly picture to go with each word.  Cute, huh?!

Such a feast. Such. A. Feast.

Some of the best I've ever come across.  I love you four!

The night the best I've ever seen yet.  With the guests all lined up on the gorgeous deck, and newlyweds down on the grass, fireworks lit up the night, reflecting on the glassy water.  It was perfect.

Thank you for the magic, the love, the friendship and the fun.  I will never, ever forget this wedding! Love you BOTH.

Enjoy Weekends | Intsagram > 2 and a Video

"i spent the best two weeks of my life, thus far,
with you.
but i had to go back home."
karen abad

Today I bring you not a collage with many photos, or a post with much to say.  I bring you one photograph from my past week.  It's one of my favorite pictures of he and I ever.  It sums "us" up so well.  My hair straightened (that's his favorite), he in a Patriots jersey (our new favorite team to cheer for thanks to the Shorey family of EGM), my new pink water bottle from Dre and Becca that I take with me EVERYwhere, little Jaxter trying to decide if he likes me (this little guy is the first baby among "my age" friends), snuggling on the couch, laptop in the background to sneak in a few minutes of work, that mistermister of mine falling asleep.  I love it.

You should follow Elizabeth on instagram (she took this photo and is the handsome baby's momma!)
- She has a way of making plain little things so memorable and lovely.
- She has been married for just over a year and also just became a mommy! It's fun to look into her fun, happy, new world.
- She is very loved by me. So, spread the love!

When you have a spare four minutes, enjoy this sweet, quirky, and loveable couple.  It's hard not to watch this and feel lighter and cheerful.  Happiness is contagious. 

Enjoy Writing |

"we are a world of lottery winners. 
for everyone of us here right now, in every begetting,
there were at least 7,999,999 losers.
they don't even know how almost they were."
notes from a tilt-a-whirl | nd wilson

 "You have been given your body. You have been given your ancestors, your natural strengths and your natural weaknesses.  The backstory is all in place.  You have been drawn, described and placed on a stage unlike any other - the Globe.  And you have been given your freedom to act.  Your story has already begun.  It began when that lucky, eager sperm stood on the winner's platform and listened to its national anthem.  One tail flick slower and you would be someone else.  You would be named Theresa now and you wouldn't be you." (quote from ND Wilson)

Not one part of our anatomy is a mistake.  Not one piece of our growing flesh puzzle came as a surprise to the Creator.  Not your brain and how it functions, not your waist and how long it is, not your toes and how fat they are, not your elbow and how it's "double-jointed."  We, down to the molecular, cellular level have been planned by God, and after making His plan for us, He specifically tailored us, knitting our body together in another persons body.  Synonyms for womb include abyss, emptiness, hollowness, nothingness.  From nothingness, He created life.  During an abyss, He planned something. "Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you." (Jeremiah 1:5) "In your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them." (Psalm 139:16)

Amy Carmichael is an historic hero for her heart, courage, love for and service to the people of India. "Every night before she went to bed, little Amy Carmichael prayed ardently and enthusiastically for God to turn her brown eyes blue as she slept. Like many brown-eyed Irish girls in the 19th century, she adored the typical image of feminine Irish beauty that included blue eyes and white skin. So, she prayed fervently--prayed with a hope that it seems only children can muster--for God to change the part of her that seemed to be designed wrong. She desperately hoped for God's intervention--but it never came. Amy had brown eyes from the day she was born to the day she died."  As this famous story goes, it becomes beautifully clear that Amy's brown eyes were intentional.  As she grew older and was living out God's plan for her, He opened her spiritual eyes to His purpose of her dark human eyes.  "The missionaries she worked with did everything they could to fit into the culture of which they were becoming a part. Amy reflected once that she now understood why she had brown eyes--a blue-eyed missionary would have been an oddity that never could have truly fit in with the people--and she was thankful that God had persisted in God's intricate and elegant design instead of catering to the wishes of a girl who had not yet met her calling."  (quote by Joshua Hearne)

Not every brown-eyed girl is called by God to be a missionary in India, but every pair of brown eyes was made because they were precisely what God wanted, what He planned.  Surely many brown-eyed girls have wished for blue eyes, and surely most of them never saw a "reason" for their brown eyes like Amy did.  But that's okay.  Every part of our miraculous, beautiful human machines has a purpose.  Short legs, scrawny legs, stiff legs, moles, wrinkles, marks, dimples, plump cheeks, wizened skin, cleft palettes, full lips, hands with two fingers, nail beds, finger prints, cuticles, hand wrinkles, knuckles that crack, curly hair, fast-growing leg hair, hairy backs, crooked teeth, pearly teeth, broad shoulders, slumpy shoulders, hearts with holes, spines with bends, brains with fluid, muscles that are too hard, frames that are big, frames that are small, skin that is dark, voices that are raspy, eyes that never see, ears that hear perfectly, feet that never walk, the milky body of a 20-week old life, the decomposing body of an 102-year old life.  Your body is not an accident, your body has not gone by unnoticed.  Your body is your costume for this stage, The Globe, and God himself sewed it together.  He created it for you.  It was not a mistake.  You are not a mistake, though you may have been quite the surprise to your parents, God "made [you] in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth."  He cares for you.  I'm full convinced that this changes everything.

Enjoy Project | Backyard Wedding | Richard + Evelyn

here in your arms where the world is impossibly still
with a million dreams to fulfill

sting | until

Few events compare to a wedding in the backyard of the bride's current home.  Few events require such invasion of personal space ("This is where he picked me up for our first date." "I ran into my parent's room and cried... He just didn't like me and I knew it." "I primped and prettied in this bathroom, I came home to this bed, I walked these halls, watched out these windows.").  Few events take over your whole world, turning life into a wedding factory.  Cleaning, storing, gardening, decorating, visualizing, transforming for a wedding alongside lunch dishes, morning showers, errands, refrigerators that need the vegetable drawer cleaned out and homework.  It is quite a feat for families to accomplish.  There is no escape from the ever-nearing and yet all-elusive wedding.  The result, however, is that the wedding day itself has an undeniable and contagious weight of charm, hard work, intimate, familial celebration.  It's really an experience to behold. Richard and Evelyn's wedding was my 100th wedding, and it did not disappoint (I also shot their engagement shoot in this backyard!)

Our bride today, Evelyn, has the privilege of being daughter to brilliant, engaging, well-spoken Dave and lively, bright, uncommonly organized and capable Nancy.  This family, along with the groom, Richard, developed a beautiful wedding theme: Romantic Garden Library.  Every element of this wedding was either classically amorous, involving fresh, local plants or including books and great literature.  Starting with the type-writer key necklaces all the bridesmaids received from Evelyn.

The entire upstairs of this brick cottage home was transformed into an airy "ladies suite," with one room cornered off to use as a "bride's refuge."

From the window in the bride's refuge, she and her little ladies could watch guests arrive.  They shrieked when long-time friends pulled up, they oooo-ed at colorful dresses and dashing bowties, they rapped on the screen and enjoyed the confused faces darting back and forth below.

Guests certainly enjoyed an over-the-top view when they entered the party.  From homemade hand-cut (and burned!) signs, to a real, working antique vehicle (which served as the gift table), to the extravagant flower gardens tangling the property - it was rather inspiring.

The "Welcome Tent" had chairs to lounge on, drinks to mingle with, fresh flowers, photographs of the clearly loved couple and name cards for the reception.  These name cards were not only handmade by the bride and her mother, they are book marks, to continue the library scheme.

Once you presented your gift to the ancient car altar in the side yard, and grabbed a sip of something sweet, you would find yourself enjoying the continued details of the back yard.

It is hard to briefly point out this lean green machine of a garden, where food was grown for months to use for the wedding meal.  Vegetables, herbs, greenery... You name it.  Talk about locally-grown garden-to-table, huh?!

The kitchen smelled truly celestial as the local caterer chopped away at the newly picked ingredients.

I particularly loved the soft pansies on against the dark chocolate cupcakes.  Entirely lovely.

This cake bar is particularly special because the middle cake (not the cupcakes) was the exact same recipe Evelyn used to woo Richard.  Her hail-mary in this Get His Attention Contest was a birthday cake, a really really fantastic one.  And, hey, it worked! ;)

Sweet daughters of the caterer were joyfully working alongside him.  I love how family-oriented this whole wedding was.

Alright, back to the back yard.  The official shed-turned-bar was one of my favorite pieces of this day.  Nancy and Evelyn proved that with great taste, patience, and some imagination can honestly make anything beautiful.  There were literally shovels and lawn mowers hidden inside the shed... but the front? Adorable.

More writing, perhaps?  I think yes!  While MabLibs are becoming more popular at weddings, I have to applaud Evelyn and Richard for their extremely funny and borderline risky MadLibs.  I had a hoot reading over everyone's answers ;)

The bartenders were friends of the family... also friends of my family... also parents of Sam, of Sam and Emily! I'll be shooting their wedding in just a few weeks :D

The reception table numbers were made from real cuts of wood.  Nancy sanded, stained and either stamped or burned the numbers onto the wood and turned them into bookends.  I. Know. Right?

I loved their idea of making a giant "program" or itinerary for the night.  Typography is always wanted, in my book, and it was a bit of a different take on the ordinary programs!

I really should post more images with people in them.  The people at this wedding were hilarious and full of personality - from artists to professional athletes to little bow-tied children to business genius'... It was a motley crew, and I loved them.  

   

Ceremony

The ceremony was rich was history, meaning, literature and love.  I was moved.

How nice does that red look with the green?!

Day traded shifts with night as we created history, as we celebrated.

The buzz of content friends and clinking glasses sang upon the sleepy neighborhood.  We, like a moon in the night sky, shone with color and love.

Romantic? Check.  Garden? Check.

I won't even try to detail for you what this reception was like.  I can't do it. I'm not talented enough.  I do not know enough words or know enough about arranging words together to be able to communicate how special this evening was.  The toasts were THE best I've ever heard.  The laughter was uproarious, the tears were constant, the conversation was endless.

Evelyn and Richard, you are wonderful and wonderfully loved.  It was a career highlight for me to be a part of your wedding, to enjoy your company, to watch your enjoy each other, to learn new vocabulary words, to feel alive and wide awake at the end of the day, to dream about the kind of celebration meals God has awaiting us in the future.  Thank you and congratulations.

Enjoy Project | Making a Valentine's Banner

"a life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable, 
but more useful than a life spent 
doing nothing.”
george bernard shaw

Well, folks.  Today I come to you from the pits of a creators despair.  The grand idea, the motivated and patient effort, the setbacks that don't phase, the setbacks that make you a *little* frustrated, the setbacks that make you walk away and nearly scrap the idea all together, the hope of a new take at the project to keep it alive... and then... yeah... you just stop.  I am committed to posting according to schedule everyday but this is not my favorite thing I've ever made ;)  

I think the whole thing went wrong when I had an idea (that I STILL think could work!) and I had free fabric samples (from the Alt Summit gift box! Woohoo!), and I forced the two to work together.  I should have just used a different material from the start.  I should have saved the fabric for a different project.  Oh well.

The original idea was to cut out letters, so as to leave the negative space of the fabric, and have the wall color show through the letters (it looks kind of cool on the wood, right?!).  I wanted to create a vertical banner because, as much as I think bunting and long banners are cute, they are quite done these days ;) And I thought I was perhaps being a little different in going a different direction! Literally.

Well, after about three hours, hot glue guns, irons, flopping letters, cardstock, paint pens, and a sad sad Kristen I called this project quits and will try again a different time.  I need to use either felt or cardstock... something sturdier than cotton fabric.  I also need my Craft Angel to cut out the letters for me with his sturdy, perfectionist hand.  I feel like this ended up being a fine.  Not cute.  Not whimsical.  Not fresh.  Not modern.  But if you feel like you could take elements and make it work, I'd love to hear tips!  And I am going to give this a whirl some other day with the proper materials.  

In the meantime, I refuse to let this post be a debbie-downer today! SooOoo I decided that "making memories" counts as "making things"... Can I get an "amen!"?  Last Friday, when mistermisterchickendinner arrived home from a three-week absence we had a lovely date day.  He arrived at my house around 5:21 am (around...) and we stayed up until 7 am.  He finally needed to get some sleep (so did I... it's very tiring blow-drying your hair at 2:30 am).  After a looooong nap until 10:00 am we headed out to Great Falls, Virginia.

There were only a scattered few runners and tourists there, so we for all intents and purposes had the place to ourselves.  So we taught ourselves how to waltz on the "dance floors" (look out points). And we took pictures. Here is proof:

I told him that this was my artsy picture of the day.  He is responsible for the first picture of this post, which is clearly more artsy than my shot.  He told me he could take over my business as an artist if I needed. 

Afterwards we drove around Potomac, Maryland and gasped at the mansions.  I'm sure nobody knew that the two blondies in the scraped up Corolla weren't Potomac natives.  We blent in seamlessly.  After we were fully inspired and mentally broke, we headed into Washington DC.  (Don't worry about it: Virginia, Maryland and then DC all within a couple of hours. We get around.)

I wanted to take a picture of us in the city.  It went something like this:


He: You need to update your phone so you can take a picture with the side button.
Me: I know, I know, I know. I will. But I can't now.
*click*
Me: Alright you're not looking at the camera. Let's try again.

He: Kristen, this is seriously hard to do.  Let's use my phone. It's updated. 
Me: Make sure you look at the camera this time!
*click*
Me: Were you looking at the camera?!
He: I was TRYing to! But it's hard to take a picture with this dumb phone! And the sun is in my eyes! I'm shielding you like a man.
Me (reviewing the last picture): Oh, oops, okay, camera is still on.
(scroll through last two pictures)
He: YOU are a hypocrite! YOU weren't looking at the camera!
Me: Because it takes you thirteen months to push a button!

He: Turn this way, the sun doesn't hurt my eyes.
Me: Excuses.
(He was right.)
*click!*
He: Aw, that one is good!
Me: No, it's not... The Red Guy from The Wiggles is walking into my head.
(He doesn't know what The Wiggles are because he grew up TV-less, so he ignores that comment.)
He: Alright, let's try one more time. Kiss on the cheek?
Me: (apparently really not down with that idea?) No.

We gave up on the perfect picture because Founding Farmers reservations were encroaching.  So we went, studied the menu like a mid-term outline, photographed our food, devoured our food, discussed our food, took home our unfinished food, picked food out of the box, paid and cancelled our plans for the rest of the night (including skipping a couples seminar at church to stay home and watch The Bachelor on Hulu).

On our way to the car I made more art:

It was an add for Vodka.  But you'd never know it.

And then I made my final masterpiece of the day: A complicated sunset landscape of the ethereal Mormon temple on I-270.  Don'tcha wish your girlfriend was skilled like me? Don'tchaaa?

Go make something.  Even if it's stinks.  Because memories are better than perfection.

Enjoy People from Oklahoma | Carlotta

“no friendship is an accident. ”
o. Henry, heart of the west

Carlotta is an old soul.  That sounds somewhat hokey (and I actually haven't met this pretty little fourteen-year-old face) but she is incredibly methodical, peaceful and observant, beyond her years. Her blog is consistently filled with lovely life details, precious thoughts, creative endeavors and just plain ol' inspiration.  Enjoy the following post from the first of four Oklahoma people I enjoy:

Hey there! I'm Carlotta and I blog over at Pastor's Girl's Ponderings. I'm so excited to be here today...I think we all agree that Kristen is pretty much the best, yes? She asked me to post about Oklahoma...which, considering this is where I live, is a subject close to my heart.

I'm an Oklahoma transplant--I've only been living here four years. But dang, when I moved here I never expected to fall so in love. Oklahoma tends to be an over-looked state--country you just drive through or fly over and never give it much thought.

But it's a state that's rich with history, breath-taking views, and some of the sweetest people you will ever meet. I love the mix of big city (which is large enough to feel cultured but you still run into people you know everywhere) and country, the wide, wide open spaces, and tucked into the valleys, hidden caves and rocky paths begging to be explored.

I love the wild mustangs running free, the abundance of cows dotting the fields, and--yes, I'm going to go here--the wind that sweeps down the plain. Oklahoma is full of surprises and discoveries just waiting to be made. I love every inch of this glorious state...and I feel so blessed that I get to call it home.

Much Love,

Carlotta

  

Enjoy Project | Videos | I'm Kristen Bell

"He's coming for the PAR-ty?!?"

Tell me you've seen this? Please please please watch this. Even if you've already seen it. It'll make you smile, and smiling is just delightful.

I've always been a bit of a Kristen Bell fan (her name is perfectly spelled).  She is kind of my ideal blonde-haired, spunky, sweet, well-spoken, All-American girl.  I liiiiiiiike to think I'm kind of like her. (Don't worry... I know I'm not.  But it's just like how you know you don't look your doppleganger, but it still feels good that the computer thought you looked most like Angelina Jolie.)

Enjoy this awesome girl and her weird animal fetish and fantastic emotions.